Fresca has begun her own 100 things about me" meme. Number 8 is about holding onto books because it is unthinkable to get rid of them, but discovering that it is OK to let them go.
The obsessive version of this is bibliomania, but my relationship with books falls more into the categorey of
bibliophilia. I was an extreme bibliophile until I was thirty, although one whose collection was acquired in circumstances of relative poverty, and therefore requiring hours of searching in order to find volumes within my budget. I was a voracious reader and routinely had 6-8 books from three different libraries sitting on my bedside table at once, but I also bought books. I spent my adolescent years combing the used book stores for 5 cent copies of the books that cost 50 cents new: science fiction, mostly. By the time I went to college, I had a couple of hundred. Often they had to stay in boxes in my family's house because there wasn't room for them all in the various dorm and apartment rooms I always had to share with another person in college. I also had to move a lot. Once I lived in a very large room in a boarding house, and had no furniture except a foam mattress. Then my books became my furniture; I lined them up on the floor around the walls of the very large, mostly empty room.
It was satisfying to see them all at once at last. Nicholas Basbane has a book called
A Gentle Madness that tells the history of such love of books, and interviews many bibliomanes, bibiophiles and collectors. (I must get it!)
As a university student, my scrounging of book stores shifted to the foreign language sections, well-stocked in Berkeley with the discards of multitudes of graduate students leaving town for their big job opportunities. Books in Spanish and French were hideously expensive new, but daily or weekly stops by such bookstores as Moe's often meant I could score a used copy for a dollar. I also bought books when I traveled because it was so hard to find them in the U.S., but they were too expensive for me to buy new abroad in great quantity. By the time I got my first academic job, I had an uncounted number of books, measured by the box. I didn't have the money to hire a mover, so I had to mail my clothes and some of the books, and a few pots and pans, to my new, unknown home in Minnesota. There were 35 boxes of books I thought I would absolutely need in my new job, but I couldn't afford to ship the many other boxes, including all the hundreds of science fiction and fantasy books I had read multiple times. I can't remember if they were sold or given away or left in my mother's house until she told me to get rid of them, but they are gone now, and I so regret it. There have been many times over the years where I've wanted to reread one of them, only to find that it's not in the library, I can't find it in the local science fiction book stores, even used, or if I do find it, it doesn't have the original cover. To scour ebay and the stores again, to reconstruct that collection would cost hundreds of dollars and precious time I don't have. I won't even think about the record collection, similary acquired in the used sections of Tower records and other stores, that I can't afford to replace with CDs.
But frankly, I hardly have time to read the unread books sitting on my shelves now, or listen to the 75 days worth of music I have on my iPod. It's liked the pain in a phantom limb; the book hoarder, that poor student who was rich in books, has been displaced by the disciplined, thrifty purger who gets rid of the old to make way for the new. I have limited room in my office and at home for books. I seldom buy books that
I can get from the library, and I try to keep them on shelves and not in boxes in the basement or piled in stacks on the floor. I know someone who chose not to rent a two bedroom apartment because it was too small for her and her books, and I never want to be that burdened again. Yet, I wanted to reread Kim Stanley Robison's books the other day, and I don't have them. Samuel R. Delany is coming to town, MY FAVORITE AUTHOR!!!, and I can't get his autograph
on my original copy of Babel-17. with the awesome cover art, I'll have to settle for my copy of Dhalgren, which was one of the books that has survived the purge.
You can satisfy your
bibliomania online for free, if all you are really interested in doing is READING instead of having the books.
Basbane has a website, too. And here are a few fragments one of Walter Benjamin's most endearing essays,
"Unpacking my collection". Larry McMurtry, author and bibliphile, has written
Walter Benjamin in the Dairy Queen, which I must now read as well. Underneath it all, though, is reading: Luc Santé, another book collector says about his relationship with his books and love of reading:
It is a bit like the stories of cannibals eating their adversaries' brains in order to acquire their strengths and skills, only with books no one gets hurt.