Succulents

Sunday cooking

I woke at 4, then fed the cat and took my meds at 5:30. The cat made me get out of bed again at 7. He seems to think it is his job to make sure I am not late for work or something.

Because there is a heat advisory today, I made plans to get out of the house early, and went to Kingfield Farmers' market. I got six ears of corn, a pound of heirloom tomatoes, okra, carrots, 2 bunches of lacinato kale (only $1 each!) and a bunch of parsley, a whole lot of green beans, a huge bouquet of flowers (dahlias, zinnias), and an ice-cream cone from the Crema stand. I wanted to linger because the music was good, but I knew I had a lot of cooking to do.

I cooked the corn first, then used the water to cook the green beans, and then the kale, after stripping the stems. I saved the broth separately to add to my Vitamix concoctions. The carrots I cooked in butter with some ginger and just a little bit of honey. I chopped up an onion and a yellow pepper I had on hand, and made a stew with the tomatoes and the okra. Some cooked corn kernels were added when it was done. I had thought of trying to make pickled okra, which I love, but I didn't have all the ingredients I would have needed. Next time. Apparently okra is one of those super-vegetables: low calorie, very nutritious.

My fridge is now full of veggies, and I will need to make sure I don't let anything go bad; I still have coconut rice and lentil stew leftovers to finish up.

What is Bipolar Disorder? Hey, I get to find out!

In the last several weeks, I have finally begun to really accept the idea that my diagnosis is not (or is no longer) Major Depressive Disorder, as I have believed for the past 14 years. It is probably more accurate to describe my condition as Bipolar II, or Bipolar 2, even if it also turns out that my thyroid is not functioning correctly right now.

So, hey. Fear. Fear and denial. Daily rapid cycles of fear, denial, sadness, confusion, pain, shame, embarrassment, irritation, depression, anxiety, tears.  ("Our chief weapon is surprise....bla bla bla bla bla").

Stephen Fry made a documentary in 2008, The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive, about his own struggles with bipolar disorder and that of others. It takes two hours to watch the whole thing, but it is worth it.
Part 1


Part 2

Chrissie Hynde

Late. I need to sleep, but my brain caught fire today and the embers are still hot. Tomorrow I have to be brave and strong, so I'm going to channel Chrissie Hynde. She moved to London from Akron, Ohio. She founded the band, wrote the songs, kept things going after two of her bandmates OD'ed, never stopped making music or standing up for what she believes. And she is a badass on stage.

Sunday at the farm

The colt is about three months old now. His white markings are now surrounded by what look like bluish-grey lines. Apparently, this kind of marking on a tobiano paint horse is called a "blue zone' and is where there are white hairs on black skin. As you can see on his neck, there are blue zones around his "paw print" spots. He's also now eating solid food.

 

Only one of the apple trees is bearing fruit, but look how big the apples are already!

While we were out visiting the horses, we met up with some guests of our neighbor Carrie. They got the tour.

The flowers are lush, and the new bluebird feeders are designed so that racoons can't get up their slick poles.

This vine has been arranged around the border of the flower bed. I don't know yet if it will be pumpkins or some other kind of squash, but it has a lot of blossoms.

There are tomatoes, squash and eggplants in the garden by the garage.

Home improvement, not home imprudence, or why I should not try to recaulk my tub by myself.

Yesterday my family pitched in, big time, to help me with all the chores and home projects that have been piling up and making feel overwhelmed. They did a huge amount of work, and I am so grateful! The biggest challenge to me, because of my fibromyalgia and the pain of doing certain movements,  has been getting stuff MOVED out: to the trash, to recycling,to be taken to Good Will, to be stored in the basement. SO MUCH STUFF! There are still things to be done, but now there are only two center of chaos, not one in every room. I can keep chipping away at it, with my daughter's help before she moves out again.

I have a big list of longer term projects I need to handle. I need a new oven/range because the one I have is has a big crack on the top with a jagged edge, and it is only a matter of time before someone gets hurt. I know where to get it, but I would like a shopping buddy, so Loren has volunteered to go with me to the Warner Stellian outlet store on Nicollet. I already know that I need a 30" free-standing gas range and a hood/vent. But which one? It will help to go with someone who is decisive and experienced.

The windows have to be washed on the outside, and I'm on the second floor. How much will a window-cleaning service cost that will not destroy my landscaping, such as it is? Dealing with tradespeople right now, with my (newly diagnosed) "mood disorder" issues, is a recipe for tears, so I will also ask the guys to help me with this. Little Red Hen, begone!

My place hasn't been painted in twenty years, and it looks tired and there is water damage in at least two rooms. I should start getting roofer estimates, but also just see if there are some places that can be patched until we can afford roof repair; the last job was 20 years ago, and was only guaranteed for 10.

There are bits of trim that need to be replaced in the kitchen.  My garbage disposal stopped working last week. Is there a reset button? I can't find it, and just crouching down and craning my neck to try to see send the FM into overdrive.

 The tub needs to be recaulked and/or regrouted (which? both? how?)

Today I learned that Boy Scouts earn merit badges for home r repair. Should I try to earn mine, or pay The Man?

 .

I am sure that I am competent enough to do the tub.  After all, I just removed an old toilet seat and installed a new one! But as I do my online research, I discover that there is great disagreement about caulk vs grout.
I have to know my limits. Home improvement should not make me ill.  This annoys me, but my lesson right now is to HUMBLE DOWN.