Hellbender

 I met Rosemary for dinner at a restaurant near her place: Hellbender. The name comes from a giant aquatic salamander. The food they serve is Mexican in inspiration but very imaginative. We had a tomato salad that had a vinaigrette with toasted garlic and chili--it was delicious. I had a lamb shank with two kinds of beans and pickled red onions. Rosemary had a scallop dish with papaya so I couldn't eat it. Her main was artic char with a corn puree. The cuatro leches cake for dessert was the best thing we had (a tres leches cake with coconut milk). Her little neighborhood in Ridgewood has lots of great restaurants!

 

 Sad news today: Arun's father died. He had been very ill for some time now so it wasn't a surprise but it happened really fast. As a result of the funeral being this coming weekend, Blas and Loren decided to postpone the party until the following weekend so that Rosemary could go to the funeral. I was able to change my flights for the following week. I had to cancel the flights and pay for the new ones but I found a $200 credit and I will be able to use the balance for future travel. The good thing is that I will no longer have to leave at 3AM to get there in time for an early morning flight. 

I should text my condolences to Arun and Radika. 

Business

 I had a brain MRI and got the report back right way: all clear. I will see the neurooncologist Monday so he can take my hand and tell me all is well! Then I will see Dr Clinton. I need to get her to authorize the Hep B booster and get a flu shot.  I s should also get my blood work done in preparation for my call with the liver doctor.

Yesterday I mailed the form to the law firm that is handling the property ownership dispute in the Nitti family. We first heard about it when someone contacted mom about who was in the family. I'm still not clear on how the three of us are related to it but I  printed and signed the from appointing one of mom's cousins as the representative of the group of us so that ownership can be established and the property can be sold. Apparently there has been a squatter. 

Today I mailed in the jury duty questionnaire that I got yesterday, just establishing that I'm a citizen who speaks English and lives in Brooklyn. I wonder if I'll get called up. I also went to the new taco cafe Peral which just opened next to the restaurant Olmo. I'm going to meet Maria there for dinner on Wednesday but I thought I'd check out the daytime service: horchata latte and breakfast burrito (smallish but yummy). I really like the blend of horchata and coffee. The place is still rough around the edges but pleasant with lots of seating and light. I like Covert's interior better though. I went after I got up at 12:30. I got in bed at around ten and then slept until morning but got up to pee about three times. I weighed myself after a BM and was just under 170--broke the barrier! 

The bathroom sink has been repaired. I thought it was just a hair clog but it turned out that the whole pipe had been installed improperly and had to be replaced. It took Miguel and Alex a few days to trouble shoot but they got it fixed and saved Jason and Karin $700. Now I can brush my teeth in the bathroom and the sink drains properly.  

Yesterday I also got a statement from one of my retirement accounts showing that it has gained in value. I also got the disbursement from my annual acount as well my quarterly deposit so I have a lot of cash as well as the money sitting in the CD. I need to decide how to transfer funds from my Berkeley Credit Union to my Brooklyn Credit Union.

The weather is warm but pleasant, not too hot. I also went grocery shopping and got apples and mango, cherry tomatoes and avocados. No blackberries though. Got in my daily walk.  

Dentist visit

 Today I had my 10AM Diabetes Management Program class, in which I was reminded that I need to exercise. Sigh. I had my Salad Don salmon rice and veggie bowl and then walked back to the clinic for my six-month cleaning. Dr Vu told me that she wants to replace the filling she put in because there is a shadow underneath and she wants to get it right. She also said she would do something about the little nick I have in one of my front teeth. Then she cleaned my teeth and sent me on my way. 

My bathroom sink has been clogged and Miguel is trying to fix it but he needs a different piece. Alex is going to come by the day after tomorrow to finish the job. I will be having my brain MRI that day at midday but Alex said he'd be coming by in the afternoon. I hope he can fix it! He said that a plumber quoted him $700 for the job. Scandalous!

 

Cancer free for one more year!

 The day before yesterday I had my yearly breast check-up: mammogram and ultrasound and meeting with breast surgeon who ordered an ultrasound of my right armpit because there was some swelling. All came out clean! I had moderate scan anxiety but it was mostly just tedious waiting around at each stage of the visit. I had noodles with cumin lamb after as a treat--spicy! A little celebration that I am cancer free for another year.

Today I bought a ticket to Minneapolis for a long weekend for Loren's 80th birthday party. It's not really his birthday but it's going to be a chance for people to gather to celebrate him. He's nervous about it because it's out of his hands; Blas and Rosemary are taking charge of all the planning. Carrie's band is going to play, there will be a big paella. Arun and I are getting on a 6AM flight. I could have flown out later in the day but I would rather travel with him, and also save $200. We'll have to leave the house at 3:30 to get there at 4AM so I may not get any sleep. I'll set my alarm and go to bed early but I may be too nervous to sleep so I'll just lie there and rest. I used my Delta AmEx card so I get a free bag check and we are getting a really good price for going that early. I'll figure out how to do a Lyft with him so we can share the ride. It's September so I got two retirement fund deposits so I'm flush with cash now. I need to move some money to my Brooklyn account. I have a big To Do list of stuff to do before the trip. If I tackle it one day at a time, I should get through it.

To DO

recycling out;

compost out;

cleaned maggots out of compost pail. gross!

toilet cleaned;

grocery shopping; Rao's is $2 more expensive but I like it.

Alanon meeting;

called about Wellcare plan change. If I understand correctly, I don't need to do anything because Mt Sinai is out-of-network already. But it makes me nervous that I had to recycle six copies of the notice that Mount Sinai would no longer have Wellcare in its network. 

Walked to my favorite cafe for my favorite avocado BLT. I hate that I feel so sluggish on such a short walk. Will do it again tomorrow but maybe I'll go to September insteadl 

 

TO DO list

break down cardboard boxes in entryway and recycle them with paper

clear off table

deposit two checks

recycle new yorker mags

laundry

change sheets

tidy up wooden shelf and coffee table

dust surfaces in bedroom 

shake out rugs in bedroom

throw out old clothes

wash microwave plate and interior

recycle file pile

 

 

post-trip check-in

During my time in Spain I allowed myself to eat and drink what was in front of me: croissants for breakfast, beer and wine with meals, cheese and olives, rice dishes with seafood. I gained a few pounds back but this morning I was back down to my pre-trip weight. My belly is still soft and big. I may have lost weight but it's still settled along my abdomen. Next goal; another ten pounds in six weeks, or by the end of September. I need to buy more eggs and cottage cheese, and berries. 

The trip logistics all went well in spite of an unexpected mishap with Arun's passport; he didn't realize that it needed to be valid for six months beyond the trip date. He came to the airport but the wouldn't let him board so he and his mother, who also met us there, went back home to try to get a rush passport renewal in time for them to get to the village for the eclipse. They had an appointment for 5AM on monday, got the passport by noon on Tuesday, then made it to Zaragoza by 1pm on Wed where they were picked up by Blas and arrived in the village in time for the amazing eclipse viewing! We drove to a hillside and sat on folding chairs with eclipse glasses for all. Primi was there too, having been ferried out with her wheelchair to the village, then settled in a chair outside in the front patio. Ruben and Coba were there as were Carmen and Quique, Rosemary's friend Carina and her caravaning friends Melissa and Michael. They had rented a camper and made their way to the village and then joined us on our return to Zaragoza before continuing on their wandering way. Ruben made us a paella on a giant pan. When we got back to Zaragoza, Blas made us squid ink rice with seafood and it was wonderful!

The weather was blistering hot so we spent a lot of time indoors in the middle of the day with brief excursions to the Pilar, the Seo, and the Aljafería. We had a magnificent meal at the vegetarian restaurant Baobab and tapas in the Tubo. I was low energy because of the heat but managed to get around at a slow pace with Loren and his walking sticks.

to Spain!

 Tomorrow we go to Spain! I'm trying not to be anxious about the trip to the airport. I will take a Lyft at 8PM to get there to check in by 9 for a 12:30 flight. It's non stop 7 and a half hours so we get into Barcelona at 1;30 in the afternoon. We have tickets on the AVE for 4pm so with any luck no bags will go astray and we'll arrive in Zaragoza in the early evening. Then we have a stack of birthdays: Blas on the 10th, Arun on the 11th and Radikha on the 12th. I should get some little gifties. I can give Blas the Colson Whitehead book The Underground Railroad. I can give the Coffee book to Arun. what can I give his mom? 

it's going to be 100 degrees in Zaragoza. I need to get some sunscreen for my arms. I packed sundresses and tshirts.  I'll wear the skort and I have a cotton bucket hat for the sun.  I packed underwear and socks,  a sleep tshirt since I seem to have lost my cotton nightgown and only have flannel and warm pjs. I will suspend my weight loss diet and try to just eat sensibly, not gorge myself on olives. I need to eat a few things in my fridge tonight and tomorrow and take out the compost and the trash.I also need to leave the lead paint form for Kari and Jason and ask them to keep an eye on the drain if it storms. I can hear thunder now!

We will go to the village for the total eclipse of the sun. Carlos and Marisa will be there as well some friends of Rosemary's who are renting a camper. It will be somewhat cooler there but still hot. 

I will see if I can get a Spain football jersey while I'm there. 

celebrating Spain's win

 Yesterday we went to a bar to watch the World Cup final match. I've watched most of the matches on Telemundo so I didn't want to miss the grand finale. The first bar we wanted to go to, a Spanish culture club called La Nacional, was full so we went across the street to a little dive bar. I lucked out and got a seat right in front of a TV and was able to watch in comfort while Rosemary and her friends stood. I had two beers, the first time I've had that much to drink in months. After Spain won the game, I treated myself to a bacon cheeseburger and fries in the sports bar near my house. I was uncomfortably full after but it was fun to have a break from my regime of austerity.

I just ordered some popcorn from Rancho Gordo. It's not cheap but it's very good and I don't know where to find the crummy popcorn in my local grocery store.  

slog

 Checking in with my weight loss timeline: I'm 2-3 lbs behind. I had calculated a straight-up one pound a week loss but I need to be patient. I'm at the beginning of July and I'm down to 172.8 171.7. Drop by drop. I feel as if I've lost weight around my thighs and belly but I still have the basketball tummy when I look in the mirror. I need to focus on my accomplishments: my blood work showed that I am no longer in the pre-diabetic zone with my Ac1 or blood glucose and that my liver markers are back in the normal range. I also showed a reversal of fatty liver with my liver ultrasound. I have an appointment with the liver specialist at the end of the month. I'm making slow progress!

Iris Van Herpen at the Brooklyn Museum

 Yesterday we went to the Brooklyn Museum to see a show of Iris Van Herpen's couture called "Sculpting the Senses."  I especially like the Muses tab because you can see how the gowns look on people who are not models on a catwalk.

Alcohol free

Down 14 lbs  but I still can't see it--my buddha belly still makes it look as if I"m pregnant. Patience! it's coming off, slowly but surely. Yesterday I treated myself to a dinner with Rosemary at the vegetarian Ethiopian place, Bunna Cafe. We get the feast for two which is scoops of nine different vegan dishes. Our favorite is the mushroom but I also like the beets, the collard greens, and the kabocha squash. 

I have not had alcohol since I began my clean living program back in February. Every so often I miss it but it hasn't been hard to live alcohol free. I ordered a beer a Bunna and it turned out to be non-alcoholic. A sign.  I had been drinking a tall beer 4 times a week. Saving money, saving my liver.

 Yesterday I cooked a pot of field peas with goat meat in the crockpot. I had never had them before and looked up recipes. They are not regular peas that have matured and dried but a bean, and are common in the South. They are really good combined with Rao's tomato sauce with sausage and mushroom.

Green Plantains

 My health care clinic advertised that it was giving away free food this afternoon. I had visions of produce laid out on tables. But when I showed up there were grocery bags all packed with the same thing: 3 green plantains, 3 mangos, red grapes and a package of baby kale. I have never cooked green plantains before so I spent the afternoon looking at recipes. I can roast them, peeled and sliced, or I can boil them and mash them up. The grapes are delicious although I haven't been eating them because of the sugar. It was a good long walk go the clinic.

more scans

Today is Saturday and I woke up at 7:30 to go into Manhattan for some scans. I know the way to the radiology clinic of Mount Sinai now: take the L to 14th St and then the 6 going up town to 103rd and Lexington. I don't even need to use Google Maps when I get out of the station because I know what direction to go. Got there for a 9:30 appointment for a thoracic CT scan to follow up on a lung nodule and then had a radioactive injection for a full body PET scan to follow up on the endocrine mutation. I'm anticipating that both of them will be fine. Only paid $30 for one of them. We'll see if I get another bill. 

I'm watching Six Feet Under and I actually stayed up all night to watch it and then lay down most of the day and then watched some more. I lost track of time and went to bed at midnight last night. Still managed to get up in time for a shower and went to the store on the way home. I will cook some brussels sprouts later. I'm a little frustrated that I've plateaued on the scale again; holding steady at 177.  

heat wave

 I took my short morning walk today even though it was 88 degrees. It's 92 now but the temperature is going to drop at least ten degrees this evening: thunderstorm!

 

heat advisory

 We've gone from sweater weather to heat advisory. Today's temps were in the 80s so I stayed indoors, and tomorrow it will be even hotter. After Wednesday it will cool off. Tomorrow we are doing our Prediabetes meeting by zoom, so if I want a walk I need to get out of bed earlier than I have been. The topic is adding more exercise. I have been on target with the program goals so far but this will be a challenge. I can add exercise by using YouTube videos; I just haven't done it. 

Rosemary called from Minnesota. She and Loren are doing well. She's using the barn as her studio and working hard. This weekend she'll go into town and spend the night with a friend so she can attend some gatherings. I'm so glad for Facetime! Nancy and Mark are in Mexico. Johnny and Dana have just moved into the new condo they bought. I'm glad they are able to become homeowners. I saw some pictures of their place from the realtor listing and it looks spacious and bright. It's in the same school district so Morgan can continue in her Spanish Immersion program. 

 

I attended my last opera in the series. It was a newish opera in Spanish about Frida and Diego. The production values--sets, costumes, choreography and use of chorus---we're quite wonderful. I was less impressed by the score but the singing was good.  

 

Mother's Day

 On my walk to the cafe this morning I was wished a Happy Mother's Day by six men! 

Oncologist check-in

 I saw my oncologist today., after my DPP class in the morning. We reviewed the results of the blood work my liver doctor ordered and I asked about the meds and liver markers. We agreed that the progress I have made in lowering my A1C, my glucose, and my liver markers, and the good results of the Fibroscan, are all signs that I'm doing the right thing by making diet and exercise changes for reversing fatty liver and prediabetes symptoms. She noted that I am due for some more scans: a PET scan to follow up on the endocrinologist's recommendation for monitoring and a chest scan for the nodule on my lung. I scheduled the chest scan for two weeks from now.

I had a big kale salad at the Delancy-Essex marketplace and regretted my choice because it had some higher calorie ingredients (although healthy ones). Walnuts and dates and pumpkin seeds pushed the calorie count up. But I had a chicken breast and leafy greens, cucumber and tomato, garbanzo beans and tahini dressing and no rice; all healthy choices and only a few calories over. I was tired while walking but I got in my steps and went up and down a bunch of stairs, I checked my phone app for step and stair counts and got in quite a few.

 My Rancho Gordo bean box included lentils so I have been eating them for the last few days. Earthy and lots of fiber!

patience

Weight trending down! Finally! I was getting discouraged because it was just bouncing back and forth from 181-184. Now it's down to 177.7 for two days in a row. I need to be patient. I looked back at my timeline and I'm on track even though it was not quite so linear. I've been doing a good job sticking to my calorie allowance and healthy food choices.

On the exercise front it's not so good. For the last three days I have not gone for a morning walk. The first day it was fatigue from all the steps I logged the previous day, but the last two days I just have been lazy. I'm in my pajamas now and would need to change to go mail the checks I need to deposit. I will get up tomorrow and do that on my walk to the cafe.  

UPDATE: took my walk today! 177! 

Good news!

 Today I met with the liver specialist at Mount Sinai. I managed to sleep about 6-7 hours but was up at 7:30  to get ready for the long subway ride. I was moderately nervous about this consultation---would I need a liver biopsy? was there so much scarring that I had cirrhosis? As usual the trip and the waiting were tedious but I was seen after only a half an hour wait. That counts as on time!

I was relieved that the doctor saw no need for a biopsy. She had access to my earlier blood work and I showed her my more recent tests which showed improvement. She had my blood drawn and referred me for  a FibroScan, an ultrasound that is their first test that's non-invasive. I was lucky and they squeezed me into the schedule after the blood draw which took forever because I was dehydrated and my blood wasn't flowing. The scan was at the hospital down the street where I'd had my brain surgery. Ah, memories!

Good news. The test showed that I have little to no fat and no scarring! Apparently my weight loss and visceral fat reversal habits have actually paid off! My A1C is also down into the normal range: 5.4! they didn't test my glucose or other liver markers. No hepatitis of any kind. I almost don't believe it but 

One value came up high: GGT or Gamma-Glutamyl-Tranferese a liver enzyme that help protect the liver from damage. So there is still some inflammation. I still have metabolic syndrome. 

Tonight I'm going to meet Rosemary, Arun, and Paloma for Japanese food at Ozakaya, that place on Vanderbilt in Prospect Heights (take the C, leave at 5:15 and get off at Clinton-Washington).

new routine

 Today was Diabetes Prevention Program. My weekly routine is to leave the house early so I can get the J before it starts skipping my station for track work. Then the hike to the clinic--it's a lot of steps! I can have coffee there so I don't make it at home. Today's session was a review for me of sensible eating advice. Eat whole foods, the healthy plate method, skip the sugary drinks. Nothing new but it's a good reinforcement of what I've been putting into practice. My treat of the day is to have a salad with squash, broccoli, cherry tomatoes, pumpkin seeds with a chicken breast on rice at the Delancy Essex Market. Since I skipped breakfast, so I'd get my fasting walk in before class, I had calories to spend. I didn't quite finish the rice but everything else was delicious and healthy. Next time I'll try a different salad.

Tomorrow I will leave the house at 8:20 to get to the liver clinic by 9:45 for a visit with a specialist. I hope I will not have to have a biopsy. I hope the MRI was clear enough to show what level of damage there was. I hope that my adherence to a liver damage reversal  program will be enough. I wonder if she'll have a blood draw to check my liver markers. I wonder if she'll have an opinion on my medications. 

I'll have dinner with Rosemary before she leaves town for 6 weeks!

 

The Binc excursion

 I switched up my walk route to overcome my sadness about missing my Berkeley garden walks. It's spring now and the trees are leafing out. Instead of walking up to Broadway and dealing with the trashy street and the overhead subway, I'm turning left and walking through the park and over to Saratoga. I went to September and they gave me a bigger cup of coffee this morning. I then walked over to the library and returned a book. I walked back the way I came, feeling like my legs were tired. But I did it, I took my walk. I got 7 and a half hours of sleep last night--a midnight text and awake at 7:30. I lay in bed until 9 and dozed a little, then up and out. Now I'm waiting for my brussels sprouts to roast for lunch. I am going to join Rosemary and Arun for dinner at the bar he works at called The Binc. It's a short walk from the High Street station on the A/C line. I looked at their menu and it looks as if the grilled shrimp is the most diet friendly. I may treat myself to an expensive mocktail---both my tax refunds were deposited!

Psych meds and liver

 I had an appointment with a psychiatrist to talk about whether or not I should change my psych meds given my elevated liver numbers and pre-diabetes. The upshot of our conversation was that the meds are working for what they are prescribed for and I am doing what I can to reverse those negative numbers so I'd like to continue as is and check in with him in a few months and with my primary care physician as well when I see her in July. My symptoms before I took this med were so severe that I really an afraid of a relapse. He said that Metformin could help with the blood sugar. I didn't tell him that I'd already had a course of Metformin when I started and it didn't seem to help. So now I get to see if my diet and exercise changes are enough to reverse the negative numbers of my liver markers and glucose. My last blood work did show improvement. My glucose was 90 and my AST was in the normal range. My ALT was still high though and my A1C was 5.9 (the threshold is 5.7) not too far off the limit. I will see the liver specialist in a week. I sure hope she doesn't want to do a biopsy.

Lots of steps!

 Today is Tuesday so its the Diabetes Prevention Program --DPP--meeting at the Henry St. clinic in Manhattan at 10AM. This meant that instead of a neighborhood walk when I got up I walked to the J and then from the J at Delancy/Essex St to the clinic. After class I walked back and had lunch at the food mall there and then back to the clinic for an appointment with a psychiatrist to talk about my meds. We agreed that I'll keep my olanzapine dose the same and see how I do with my weight loss and activity program and meet again in 2 months. We talked about whether it made sense to add Metformin and I opted to wait. Then I walked back to the subway. So I made 4 short trips and ended up walking over 8000 steps. Now that I have my Health app on my phone set up to count steps and distance I can add that information to my weekly reports to Andrea in DPP. Tomorrow I'll go to Quest at 10:30 but I need to work around the J repair schedule so I'll leave here at 9 and get to the Joe cafe for coffee and to buy a sandwich for lunch. I should finish reading Hamlet. I don't know what they'll be talking about since I missed the last class but I have a ticket to see a performance at the BAM this coming Sunday with the National Theater company from London.

Tomorrow I will not do my morning walk but instead walk from the subway to Quest and back. It's probably going to rain. 

Hydration commitment.

 I have ignored the advice to drink more water and I run around dehydrated all day. Today I made a commitment to start a new habit: I will drink at least 5 cups of water a day. This is on top of my coffee and tea habits. I set a notification ad I'll try to remember to drink every time I go to the bathroom.

This morning I woke at around 7:30 after a night of broken sleep because I had to get up to pee two times. But at least I fell back asleep. I got out of bed around 8 and had my morning lemon water. Weight was 179 so I am under the 180 threshold again! Then I took my morning walk but this time I went to the cafe on Saratoga, September. It's a much nicer walk than going down Broadway under the elevated tracks. It's a few more steps as well as I saw when I checked my Health app on my phone. I manage to turn on the step counter. A cup of coffee is smaller and a dollar less than at Covert. Breakfast was cottage cheese, blackberries and ground flax seed.300 calories and 24 g. of protein. Now I am going to kick back until my Alanon meeting. No more lying in bed until 10 or 11. Now I'm up and have my walk and then my breakfast. I wish I could find the Youtube video that set up this walking while fasting idea. This one explains that biology of walking before breakfast. so does this one:

 

Cherry Blossoms

 The Brooklyn Botanic Garden has a cherry blossom watch map that tells you which trees are in bloom and which are past peak bloom. Rosemary, Maria, and I went on Friday morning and saw the tree-lined allée and lots of happy people. Then we went and had lunch at Mado cafe which is close by on Washington. The food was good and I had crispy hake which turned out to be fried in a light batter (so not exactly in my diet) but it was light and not greasy so I just logged it in my calorie counter app and enjoyed it.

 

Good habits

 I lay in bed and listened to two podcasts before getting up to have my lemon water and my morning walk, but I did it! I have connected my Health app on my phone so now I can count my steps. Its 1945 steps to the cafe and back. I'm feeling as if I'm gaining some stamina. Tuesday at our DMP session we'll be talking about tracking so I'll see what Andrea our coach recommends. I'm tracking my food, water, walking and now my steps. Today I weighed in at 179 and My Fitness Pal told me I'd lost 11 pounds and that I should feel proud of myself. I do! But it's been hovering around the 179-181 axis for a week now so I'd like it to go down again soon. Yesterday I was way under my calorie count and the app told me it wouldn't give me a reading because it was dangerous to undereat like that so I forced myself to eat some hummus and baby carrots to bump it up. I have black beans to finish off today, some green beans and broccoli to steam and some tomatoes left as well. Next up is lentils.

Habit

Yesterday I went to see a nutritionist. I am not sure that she told me anything I didn't already know or that I haven't already started implementing in my management diet. But I am going to see if there are any steps I'm skipping. Today I did my morning walk again~just to the cafe and back. Yesterday I also walked to the clinic and back. That's 20 minutes each way. I was dragging my ass but I did it. I'm hoping that I'll stop being so tired if I do this every day. Tomorrow I'll join Maria and Rosemary to see the cherry blossoms in the Botanic Garden so I'll get a lot of walking in then: ten minutes to the subway, another ten minutes to the park, at least a half an hour around the trees, then the same in the other direction. More if we go eat somewhere.

 

Day 3

Day 3 of new morning routine: up at 8:30, lemon water, walk to cafe, black coffee, walk back home. Breakfast at 10 within intermittent fasting window--cottage cheese, blackberries, ground flax seed. It's not a long walk but it's a start of a good habit. I'm choosing to do what I can instead of beating myself up that I don't want to walk the 20 minutes to a different cafe. 

I went to see Rosemary and Arun's new apartment. My back hurt on the walk to the L but it was better on the way home. More walking! Their place is small but cute and the best thing about it is that they are happy with it! It's right around the block from a stop on the M line which is quick to get to from the L. Transfer at Myrtle-Wycoff. We made tentative plans to go to Arun's work on Friday night. He's working Friday and Saturday nights at a speakeasy called The Binc near the High Street station on the A/C line. We went for dinner at an Italian place around the corner called Il Gigante. Good pasta with lamb ragu--i went off my diet but didn't get any alcohol. I went over my calorie allowance but not by too much. Offset by the walking I did. I only had brussel sprouts for lunch but ate nuts so added some calories there. Walnuts are good for you but also very fattening! Tomorrow I need to eat the spinach and green beans and some of the black beans. For the morning walk I will count the walk from the J to the clinic. Leave at 9 bring a magazine. I will have coffee there. I will eat brunch when I come home.

Changes I have made

I stopped drinking alcohol. I was having a tall beer for dinner about 4 days a week. No alcohol for the last six weeks. I stopped eating most white foods like white rice, bread and pasta. No more almond crossaints at the cafe. No more sushi. No more huge bowls of pasta with Rao sauce for dinner.I also stopped eating cheerios. I never drank sugary drinks and I don't have smoothies so no change there, just reinforcement of a good habit. I don't eat anything with high fructose corn syrup. I stopped eating bagged salads because of the bad oils in the dressings. I started buying bags of green beans and brussels sprouts and cooking them right away so they don't spoil. Also spinach. Now going to drink lemon water every morning. On day two of walking when I wake up. Hope to increase the time soon. Continuing to eat beans on a regular basis. Eating avocados for the good fats. Only cooking with olive oil when oil is needed, like roasting brussels sprouts. Eating sardines and herring every other day. Cottage cheese and berries, not cheaping out at the price of berries. Blackberries and raspberries, with the occasional strawberry box. Steel-cut oatmeal. Non-fat Greek yogurt with berries. Spoonfuls of ground flax seed on my yogurt or cottage cheese. Responding to the urge to snack by making tea instead of eating something. Green tea mostly.

Lemon water

So one of the videos I saw on YouTube said that drinking lemon juice in a big glass of water can have a beneficial effedt on fatty liver if done first thing in the morning. So I got some lemons on one of my walks and chugged down a glass of water with half a lemon's juice last night and this morning. One thing to watch out for is a bad interaction with tooth enamel so I ordered some biodegradable straws to avoid that. This morning I got out of bed late but I got dressed and left the house immediately to walk to the cafe and have my coffee while reading one of the many New Yorkers I have cluttering up my table. It felt good to walk and I didn't get tired. I'm going to try to do this every day for a week and then think about extending the walk to twenty minutes each way.One small step at a time. The idea is to stimulate the body with walking before breakfast. I would like to get up earlier but I'm allowing myself to wake up naturally because a good night's sleep is also high on the list of healthy habits. Quest is on spring break so I don't have anywhere to go later in the day. Tomorrow I will got to Rosemary's new apartment to see it and have dinner with her and Arun in their new neighborhood. The are right next to a subway stop on the M line so it will be easier to get tottheir place now.

exercise block

This morning I set my alarm for 8 am and planned to get up and walk 20 minutes before having my coffee and breakfast. I ended up staying in bed until 9:30 and then took a ten-minute walk to the Covert Cafe and had black coffee. On the way back I stopped at the big grocery store that I never go to and checked for cans of calamares, which they had. Everything else is about a dollar more expensive than my little grocery store--tomatoes, raspberries, broccoli, Rao's tomato sauce. I got a huge pack of TP and carried it home. So I didn't walk for 20 minutes but I did walk for 10 each way. I'm going to keep on tryng to get up and get dressed and walk on the days when i don't have another activity planned. Now I need to do some at-home strength training with YouTube videos. Some squats and knees up. The session on Tuesday will be about exercise. The point of walking before breakfast is that I watched a video saying that the liver is primed to release visceral fat after sleep and before food sends the blood sugar up, so a 20 minute walk will be optimum for burning visceral fat. Today I did 20 minutes but not consecutive so I don't know if it will have worked. But I did get up and get out the door, so there's that. Tomorrow maybe I'll walk to Cup of Brooklyn which is 20 minutes away.

Taxes done!

Overcame my procrastination and did my taxes. I use a service that I used to get for free when my income was lower. Now I pay for the state filing but not the federal. I'll get a total refund of $849. That plus some unexpected refunds from my health insurance mean I'm banking some extra money this month. I need to get to the credit union to deposit the checks. I have lost theh checkbook from my Brooklyn Coop FCU and I'm out of deposit slips for BluPeak FCU. I need to dig around in my drawers to see if I stashed the checkbooks somewhere. Next on the list of things to do!.

yahoo~

Milestone! I went below 180 for the first time! I was getting discouraged at bouncing around 181-184 but this morning I came in at 179-177. We'll see if that's where I am tomorrow but it's movementn in the right direction!

Showing Up

I went to the first day of my diabetes prevention program today. I got there ten minutes early and made myself a cup of coffee. Each week we will be weighed and as expected my weight was 4 lbs more than it was at home this morning. Some of that is clothes and shoes and some of it is just fuck you weight. We each got a binder with two sets of handouts: ones that will stay in the binder and ones that will come home. There are logs for food and exercise and a goal-setting sheet. My weight loss goal is to lose 7% of my body weight or 13 lbs in the next six months. That should be doable. The walk to and from the subway is significant enough to be logged as my cardiovascular exercise of the day. My left ankle is twinging.Could be the osteopenia flaring up. I've been very faithful with my My Fitness App. I use it eevery day and log all of my food and drink. Next on my list of steps to implement is to drink water. I've been watching YouTube videos about liver cleansing and one recommendation is to have lemon water when you wake up and to delay breakfast until after you've gotten some exercise and sunshine. I need to set an alarm and get out of bed by 8AM. No more lying around until noon! i've been saving exercise videos on YouTube so tomorrow I will get out of bed and drink water and do the one that has three exercises for seniors: sit-to-stand squats getting out of a chair, wall push-ups, marching in place with arm swings. Those feel approachable. I have a stretchy band that has been hanging on my bathroom doorknob for months now. That will be my next exercise goal: to add some upper body workouts with the band. The room was full for our session. Everyone there said they wanted to beat their diagnosis of type-2 diabetes. A few people were returning or had been working with our coach Andrea one-on-one. There is this one guy Carlos who talked compulsively. I hope he drops out. Andrea dealt with him well, affirming the positive things he was saying. If I leave the house at 9 I can get the J before they shut down for their midday track replacement work at 9:15. It's not a long ride. The walk from Delancy-Essex takes me by some blooming forsythia and dafffodils.

steel cut oatmeal

It's a commitment. It is one of the healthiest things I can eat now becuase of its soluble fiber. Research shows that eating them is beneficial for type-2 diabetes and high cholesterol. But you have to spend 30 minutes cooking them stirring every five minutes or so and then scrub the pot. If I cook 1 cup at a time I have leftovers that I can eat for 3-4 days. So right now I have a timer on and I'm going to eat them with blackberries and ground flax seed.

Diabetes prevention program

I saw my primary care physician and brought her up to date on the results of my blood work.She had some more done so we could get information about my cholesterol and blood sugar levels. Not good. Of the two liver enzymes, one has returned to the normal range, yay! There's a score that indicates what the average blood sugar has been over three months. Mine is in the pre-diabetic range, 5.9. Today's session at the Manhattan location of my clinic was an introduction. The course starts next week and goes on for a year. It meets once a week for six months and twice a month for the next six months. It's a real commitment to making changes and has shown results. And it's free! It will involve food and eating habits, exercise, sleep and stress, access to resources and making a cohort community. I need to treat it like my job. The challenge is going to be the exercise. I need to start doing home exercise with youtube videos.

Reversing fatty liver

I have been very successful in changing my diet over the last six weeks, even if the weight loss has been slow. I think I've lost about ten pounds but I seem to have stalled out. But according to My Fitness Pal I'm coming in at or under my daily calorie limits so I just need to keep at it. More important are the changes I've made. No alcohol. I don't really miss it. No bread, croissants or bagels. I don't buy those for home consumption but it means changing my cafe orders. No added sugar (no ice cream); not really a change as I don't have sugary drinks or juice or candy except for my Halloween mini snickers binge. No white carbs---no white rice or pasta. I was eating a lot of pasta so I need to stop that. The rice I have in the cupboard is brown but I haven't had any since I started the diet. No fast sugar fruits like mango or pineapple, watermelon or grapes. I will miss the mango but I can have citrus, apples and avocado. No fried foods so no more Korean fried chicken or french fries, no cheeseburger with bacon so no more trips to my favorite sports bar. Portion control is also key. I should phase out the Cheerios--I got some Irish steel cut oatmeal and ground flax seed for breakfast. I've added more eggs, sardines, nonfat yogurt and low fat cottage cheese with berries (raspberries and blackberries). I'm still eating beans but I'm trying to keep the portion size down. I've stepped up the cruciferous veggies and baby carrots with hummus. I was eating a lot of nuts but they are highly caloric so just a handful as a snack can push me over my daily calorie limit. I had finished all the nuts and dried fruits I got from Sahedi so no more snacky snacks. I'm going to stop eating the bagged salads because the dressings have bad oils in them. According to the liver news, I can reverse fatty liver in some months to a couple of years if I stick to these dietary changes. I'm hoping to get a confirmation of the April 1 diabetes management session. I should call or text them since they sent me an email saying they'd pass on my request. I'm going to see my primary care physician tomorrow so I'll ask her about blood work to check my sugar levels and also talk to her about the medications I'm taking. I have an appointment with a liver specialist at the end of April. I wonder if either of them will prescribe Metformin.

Covert Cafe

Today it was warm enough to leave the house in a sweater instead of a down jacket. A daffodil has bloomed in my back yard. I went to the library and returned books and picked up two books I had on hold: The Hours by Michael Cunningham and a book about language called Rebel With a Clause. The author had done a presentation for Quest last week and I decided to get it out of the library instead of buying a copy after her talk. Saving money! I stopped by Covert cafe and had my favorite, a BLT with avocado.

Motivation

Today I had Rancho Gordo lima beans that I cooked yesterday, and steamed veggies for dinner. I also had sardines and yogurt with berries. I went to the store and got more berries and a bunch of greens that were on sale: arugula, spinach and mixed baby lettuce. I will need to restock my olive oil. I did get coffee filters. Also restocked baby carrots and brussel sprouts. My appointment with the nutritionist got pushed back a few weeks but that's OK. I am doing OK with my diet motivation. My poor liver!

pan-roasted brussel sprouts

I can eat as many as I want. A good source of fiber. Just spread them on a cookie sheet and toss with olive oil and kosher salt. Roast in a hot over (450) for 25 minutes. I didn't even bother to stir them up and they cooked just fine. Nno need for bacon or glaze.

wieght loss timeline

If I lose a pound a week, the timeline will look like this. I hope to get to a hard 180 this week 

one 

April 1 *180 

    2 179 

    3 178 

    4 177 

two 

    May 5 176 

    6 *175 

    7 174 

    8 173 

three 

    June 9 172 

    10 171 

    11 *170 

    12 169 

four 

    July 13 168 

    14 167 

    15 166 

    16 *165 

five 

    August 17 164 

    18 163 

    19 162 

    20 161 

six 

    September 21 *160      

    22 159    

    23 158 

    24 157 

seven 

    October 25 156      

    25 *155 

    26 154 

    27 153      

eight 

November 28 152      

    29 151 

    30 *150 

It will take eight months to reach my first goal weight of 150 lbs. That brings me to my birthday. So that is a reasonable timeline if I stick with the diet I'm working with now. So far I've done a really good job of sticking to it and I've. brought my weight down to 180-183. The scale bounces around but I can see a decline. A few years ago I made a similar timeline and built in a series of rewards: buying new clothes, travel. I'm going to think about how I can do that again but I'm not ready now. Maybe I'll build in some restaurant outings every five pounds or so. I went to a pizza joint with Rosemary the other day and managed to choose things that kept me in my diet range: beets tartare and 3 meatballs with tomato sauce and bread. The beets were delicious, worth the outing.

daily report

"If every day were like today... You'd weigh 174.9 lbs in 5 weeks." It's going to take some months for me to meet my goal.

Quest French presentation

Yesterday I gave a 50 minute presentation in French on Henri Matisse for the conversation

club at lunchtime. It went fairly well althought there were technical problems with the interface between Powerpoint and the YouTube videos I had linked to. I asked the group to tell me what they saw in the images I shared and people spoke up so i consider it a success. I learned so much from preparing that I was able to talk my way through it without reading a script. Next on the Matisse agenda will be a trip to the MOMA to see the Matisses in the collection. I was so nervous about doing the presentation that I didn't sleep at all the nighth before. The next night I overslept and missed the Hamlet class. Then last night no more sleep again. I have to talk to my doctor about this because my sleep has been irregular for the past few months.

Milestone

I have been weighing myself every morning and trying to accept that sometimes the scale will go up a few pounds as well as down, what with water weight and all. But today I broke a barrier when the scale read below 180 for the first time. I have lost ten pounds! still so much more to lose but I am delighted that it's going down consistently. I made myself roasted brussel sprouts for lunch. I'm oooking Rancho Gordo scarlet runner beans with goat meat in the slow cooker. I used to be able to eat scarlet runner beans from plants in my back yard in Berkeley. Nobody else in the building wanted them so i would just go out and chow down. When I go down another ten I will allow myself a restaurant splurge.

check-in time

I have been weighing my self all week and I have lost some weight. I don't know exactly how much because my starting weight fluctuated so much but I'll just say 5 lbs. I found myself lying in bed chanting "I will lose weight!" I'm so frightened about my blood sugar levels and my liver diagnosis. The good news is that if I can lose a significant amount of weight it may reverse some of the liver damage and control the blood sugar levels. I am doing a reasonably good job of staying within my calorie limit of 1330 per day. I need to snack on something other than nuts. It's going to be a long slog but if I can stick with this kind of diet for a couple of months I'll see real results. I have been lying in bed until noon listening to podcasts. I'm going to go easy on myself because I'm scared.

Slogging through another round of medical appointments.

If it's not one thing....I had some routine bloodwork done ordered by my oncologist. The results came back that my blood sugar is over the limit for pre-diabetes and my liver enzymes are also high, in the abnormal range. This is most likely due to the olanzapine. Dr Li ordered an abdomen MRI to check my liver and it came back that I have a Non-alcoholic Fatty Liver. She gave me a referral for a liver specialist so I have an appointment for that in a month or so. I'll be seeing Dr Clinton at the end of this month and I am signed up for a Diabetes management course through Betances clinic. I also went to the dentist to get a cleaning and check-up and a screening for zometa, a med that is supposed to treat my osteopenia that was revealed to be worse with my bone density scan. I need to find a way to fax the form back to Dr. Li. The treatment for diabetes and the fatty liver is the same: lose weight and reduce the visceral fat. I have started on a diet using the My Fitness Pal app. It allows me to track my calories, carbs, fat and protein as well as my weight and excercise. I have lost a few pounds already. I got new batteries for my scale. I don't like weighing myself every day because it's so dispiriting when it goes up. I have also tried to adopt a diet that includes more raw veggies, fruit, nuts and beans. The nuts add a lot of calories but they're good protein. I've been having cheerios and milk or a 3-egg omelette for breakfast, and 2 cups of red beans for lunch or dinner since I made a big batch. Next Ranch Gordo thing I'll make is lentils. I treated myself to lunch at the Delancy-Essex market after the dentist and had kale with salmon, cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, garbanzos, dates and walnuts with a little red onion. It was delicious and filling and almost my entire calorie allowance for the day due to the dates and walnuts. The My Fitness Pal gives a daily report that says "if every day were like today you would weigh X amount in five weeks." It allows you to have a weight loss goal that's reasonable and precise. I started at 190 (my god) and i"m down to 184. Five weeks target is around 175. My long term goal is 150. If I lose more than that I'll be happy but I'm trying to set an achievable goal for the next few months. Today I had nonfat yogurt for breakfast, an apple, almonds and cherry tomatoes for dinner and red beans for lunch. I went to the store and got eggs, milk and cereal, tomatoes and almonds, cottage cheese and bagged salads. I have some veggies in the fridge that i have to eat tomorrow: a red pepper, some green beans and carrots to eat with hummus. So I'm good for the next three days. I have sardines and tuna for protein. All that has had me feeling anxious but there is some good news: Rosemary and Arun were able to find a good apartment that will be less money for both of them. Arun got a part time job and continues to apply for everything in sight. He was so discouraged yesterday according to Rosemary. She's in Spain for another ten days, seeing all the friends and relatives. She got to celebrate Loren's and yaya's birthdays. Yaya is 96 and still able to walk and be lucid. A Spanish doctor says that Loren's walking difficulties are most likely due to the stenosis that the surgery corrected, rather than the CS fluid build-up. I hope he can get some more physical therapy for that. I also just got my quarterly IRA transfer and I have plenty of money. I haven't been spending much lately so I allowed myself to buy expensive raspberries at the store. I'm taking care of the cat who has been much less rambunctious and destructive than last time. I stuck stuff in drawers and covered the trays of stuff on the tables to prevent him from throwing things on the floor. He like to sit on top of the tall dresser and look out the front window. I wonder what the attraction in. People walking by infrequently? He also looks out the back window but showed no interest the one time I saw one of the feral cats sitting outside. The weathr has been lightly rainy and not so cold. I went to my Quest classes on Tuesday. I need to finish the powerpoint by Sunday for my presentation on Matisse. I also need to write out a script. I'm about 2/3 done with it. I'll finish it tomorrow. I also have to find a place to send the dental screening form by fax to Dr. Li.

leave the house every day.

New Year's intention setting: I will leave the house every day, even if it's just to go to the store. Today was New Year's Day and I walked in the freezing wind on the icy sidewalk to the closed library. The cafe was closed as well. I returned my books and trudged back home. Yesterday I walked to a restaurant to have brunch with Rosemary and Arun. It was a mile each way. It was not quite as cold as today but it was a strenuous hike. Tomorrow is Friday so I need to put out my recycling--containers in the entry way are full. I also need to break down the boxes on the table so I can start the new year with a clean surface.