Kitty rituals

My cat has me well trained to perform the following necessary rituals.

AM: If I linger in bed, the cat jumps on my pillow and purrs. If I don't get out of bed soon enough, he then will knock items off my bedside table. If I persist in my slothful attitude, he will stand outside in the hall and make the piteous meow noise. He will do this for as long as it takes to get me out of bed. His record is one hour.

Once I get up, he gallops ahead of me to the kitchen. Although my daughter has already put food in his bowl, it is necessary for me to touch the food before he will eat. A few pats are enough. Usually, I observe that he has positioned a few of his toys next to his bowl, or in his water dish, during the night. While I make my coffee, he eats, and then announces loudly that it is time for me to comb his fur with the special fur rake. I do this gladly because it is fun, and because the large amount of fur I remove each day will then not end up on the floor, couch or rug. At this point, my morning duties are over, and the cat is happy to join us while we get ready for the day.
Optional daytime ritual. Meow loudly at the door until I let him out so he can roll on the front steps, provoke the squirrels, or eat grass. Meow loudly at the front door about ten-twenty minutes later, until I let him back in.

PM: The cat has always accompanied us in our bedtime routines. When I read to my daughter, he would hang out in the bedroom. He would always jump on the bed and spend about five minutes, no more, purring with us. Then he would take up his guardian position ( crossed forepaws) at the door until my daughter went to sleep. Although I no longer read in bed with her, he still joins us when I say goodnight.

He always wants to spend the night on the back porch, but will only go there if we carry out the following routine. First, I must go to bed. Then he must station himself next to the living room couch and meow very loudly until I get out of bed. I walk in his direction, and he scampers past me to hide under the dining room table. It is required that I touch his behind to signal that it is time to scamper to the kitchen. Whether or not the door to the porch is open, I must then say, "go outside, cat" (or some version of this statement, sometimes less polite). He exits, I close the door, and go back to bed. If I do not do this before I go to sleep, he will be sure to wake me at 3AM so we can do it then.