Sunday, August 05, 2007

Leo makes a lousy plumber

I had a great time while I was away. I came home to a running toilet and a kitchen sink with only a trickle of water. On the advice of the hardware store guy, I tried whacking the kitchen sink faucet with something to see if there was some sediment blocking it. Whaddaya know? It worked! Sort of. It's clear that I should replace the fixture because the sprayer that has never worked is screwing up the water flow, but I can get water out of it now.

In the spirit of DIY liberation, I also optimistically thought I could swap out the toilet flusher myself. Hey, how hard could it be? I got the kit and the hardware store guy showed me (with a model toilet they have set up in the store) what to do. Looked easy-peasy. But after removing two of the three nuts from the bolts so I can remove the tank (previously emptied, natch) I stumbled on the problem: the last nut is located in such a place that the only way to get access to it is to lie down in the very narrow space between the wall and the toilet bowl, in which case my arm is too long to turn the screw. Or I can kneel over the toilet, lay my head on the toilet seat,and embrace the part underneath the tank, attempting to feel what i"m doing as I work to loosen the nut. But my arms are just a little too short for this to really work. Unfortunately, I'm trying to do this with a pair of pliers, not a socket wrench, so I think I've ended up stripping the threads and the nut just turns but doesn't go anywhere.

I'm flushing with a bucket, and my fuzzy plumber's assistant hasn't been any help at all. I think I need to heed what Susan Miller's Astrologyzone horoscope says to Scorpios for the month:

"With Neptune in opposition to Saturn this month, you'd be wise to protect yourself against water damage as you move forward. Ask an expert to help protect you against all sorts of problems involving water and water damage. Also make sure you have a solid security system in place. There is no guarantee either will give you problems, but I do see these two areas as ones that could use some shoring up. Attend to these two points and you'll rest easy."















Plumbing expert? Moi?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

On the faucet, you might only have to replace the sprayer. And that may be where the sediment mostly is.

My toilet is also running. I am supposed to replace the flapper first and see if that works, before moving up to replacing the whole flusher. However I remember that the last time this happened, the recommendation was to get a huge, universal flapper, to make sure it would work, since flappers which supposedly fit, had not. (This flapper, by the way, looks like an oversized diaphragm.)

Remembering this, I am stumped - am I not already trying the most Panglossian, best of all possible worlds solution? But writing this, I am remembering another thing: these flappers are not supposed to wear out, but I have heard that with the excess of minerals we have in our water, they actually do.

Anonymous said...

P.S. very funny post, what with the astrology and the cat.

momo said...

Thanks! I did already replace the aerator on the faucet, and I have never used the sprayer because it was broken when I moved in. It's just time to yank the whole thing and replace it because the garbage disposal is also semi-functional. Someone else (not me) is going to have to do it, though. This toilet thing has killed my back.

momo said...

Oh, and I had one of those rotting flappers before, and the kit that's in there now has a flapper that will not rot. But the part the broke is this little plastic bit that holds the float arm on. There's no way to replace it without yanking the whole kit. The new one that I bought has no float, and is adjustable so you can make it a low-flow toilet and conserve water. But I need socket wrenches which I do not have, and longer arms, plus one of those big plumber wrenches for another part.
Oh, well, DIY fantasies are fine, but tomorrow I'm callling a professional to come and fix both things so that I can stop flushing with a bucket.

Professor Zero said...

Yes, time for a pro! Is it done yet?

I got 2 flappers, one large diaphragm like one and a non-rotter, and I am trying that one first. I hope it works, as it is the most beautiful of the two, and the most technologically advanced.

The old one continued rotting right in my hand, it was amazing. Had mildew, too. I am opposed to mildew.