Vote No: The moment they learned that their hard work had been successful

Waiting for the results on the MN constitutional marriage amendment,  the campaign workers for Minnesota United for All Families listen to a pep talk and are told by campaign director Richard Carlbom that they should probably go home. But first, a list of their accomplishments in the campaign to get out the vote and talk to people about the issues.  Suddenly, a phone call and the announcement that the AP has called it: the No vote won. Jubilation!

Same Love

Macklemore and Ryan Lewis feat. Mary Lambert. Wonderful song, wonderful film.

HRC awward to Lana Wachowski

I want to watch this video a few more times. There are so many important things that Lana says.

New York, New York!

Today the Senate of New York voted to pass a bill making same-sex marriage legal. Gov. Cuomo signed it, and it will take effect in 30 days. New York joins Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermoont and Washington D.C.
Twitter and Tumblr were bursting with celebratory messages. This song kept running through my head. Liza Minelli  performed it in Martin Scorcese's amazing film New York, New York (1977). This performance from "Liberty Weekend" in 1986 (the centenary of the Statue of Liberty). I love her incredible stage presence.

 This wonderful picture of the rainbow-lit Empire State building is making the rounds on Twitter.

More messages of love and acceptance from the "It Gets Better"Project

Hello, I am Joanna and I have Major Depressive Disorder. I live a happy healthy life with a mental illness that has, in the past, been a lot tougher to manage. At one time I did not believe I would survive. But I got help. I will never forget, and I will always be grateful to the people who helped me believe that "it gets better" because in the worst moments of depression it is precisely the overwhelming feeling that it will never get better that leads to crippling despair.

The topic of suicide is a tough one because there are so many fears and stigmas, so many judgments attached to it. I know from my own experience with chronic depression that suicidal ideation can be a symptom of an underlying physiological disorder as much as it is a response to situational pain. In my case, treating the physiological disorder with medications along with intense work to face and understand my responses to situations has helped keep me safe, and has made this disease one I have survived.

A message that helped me enormously came from a book by David Conroy, Out of the Nightmare: Recovery from Depression and Suicidal Pain.

He states: "Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain." This is not an easy message to understand on its face, so if you want to know more, check out the book. In my case, I was fortunate to get the help I needed in decreasing the pain and increasing the coping resources.

Sometimes, the resources for coping with pain include hearing messages of hope and acceptance. They may not be enough to overcome the pain for all, but they may be a start for overcoming the pain for many. Watching the "It Gets Better" project unfold, I reflect on my own struggles and I'm grateful that people are bringing these messages out into the light.

A platform that allows people to create dialogue can be a powerful thing. Dan Savage and his partner Terry posted their "It Gets Better" video on YouTube, and kicked off something that has become bigger than their one message. They started a YouTube channel and when the responses reached the limit (650), they encouraged people to start their own YouTube Channels or to post to their facebook page. Now there is a stand-alone website. And the messages to the facebook page and the YouTube show no signs of letting up. From ordinary folks and famous folks, a wide variety of people are speaking out and putting faces and stories to their expressions of love and support. Never underestimate the power of stories or peer support.

This is not to say that this project is enough, and to be fair to Dan Savage, he never claimed it was. He understands perfectly well that much more needs to be done than "send a message." Some of the thoughtful (and less thoughtful) posts people have put up in response (a few here at The Atlantic) point out that we also need to listen, to acknowledge that racism may mean that gay teens don't find support in some parts of the gay community, or that we should be thinking about ACTION for change. Yes, indeed! But these simple messages are still important. Hearing these messages may be a first step for someone, one that enables them to take the next step, to reach out and connect, to get help. I know that I needed this message before I could do anything else to heal.

So, what to do? The Make It Better Project takes up the challenge. Check it out! Yes, you can take action now! Be inspired by Lucinda Naylor's DVD to ART project, or the Return the DVD project.

Any teenager with any questions about sex or gender (and not just fears or experiences of bullying)can go to Scarlateen.com for excellent, accurate, non-judgmental resources. Heather Corinna and Dan Savage talk about the need for kids to be safe, and how it is not always possible to be out and safe at a very young age or in certain circumstances, which is one reason why this message to teens is so important: you may not be able to control everything in your life now, but you can choose to accept yourself now, and choose life now.

From young people who work to help their peers:

From folks in San Francisco:

From members of the SF Gay Men's Chorus, very thoughtful and detailed messages about how and why it gets better! and a song.

And from sweetkellygirl who has the courage to call herself a "recovering homophobe" and who says It Gets Better for homophobes as well (and that includes all of us at some point).

National Coming Out Day!

To all my family and friends who have come out to me and the world, you make the world a better place for all of us: thank you!
(via BitchPhd)

CA Supreme Court upholds discrminination

From the San Francisco Chronicle:

"California voters legally outlawed same-sex marriage when they approved Proposition 8 in November, but the constitutional amendment did not dissolve the unions of 18,000 gay and lesbian couples who wed before the measure took effect, the state Supreme Court ruled today."

This may make some kind of legal sense, but it makes no sense to me that the Supreme Court of California has just created a separate class of GLBT people who can be legally married in California but nobody else can join that class.

My heart is broken right now.

Equality for all

My family is a rainbow family!

Get This Party Started X 3

I went to see a friend who performs at the Townhouse Bar in a drag revue called Pumps and Pearls. The MC, Lily White, did a number to the song "Get The Party Started," written by singer, musician,songwriter and producer extraordinaire, Linda Perry, and made a huge hit by Pink on her second album in 2001, but this version was sung by Dame Shirley Bassey! (You know, "Goooolllldfingaaaahhhh!"). She has just come out with a new CD, at age 71, and her cover of this song is fabulous!
Here's a live version by Pink who performs l some incredibly daring aerial moves on Chinese silks with her dancers:

Here is the Welsh Diva, Dame Shirley Bassey, consummate vocal artiste, giving it her own spin:

and here is local favorite Esme Rodriguez doing Shirley doing Pink at the Bryant Lake Bowl:

Coming out in support of change in the public schools

Yesterday I got an email asking for parents to attend or speak up at tonight's school board meeting in support of the Welcoming Families pilot program that will be voluntarily implemented at three schools this coming year, including our family's K-12 school.

Here is a slightly edited version of an email I sent to family, friends and parents, asking for their support:

Greetings, all
You may have read or heard about the Minneapolis Public School's implementation of the Welcoming Schools pilot program, an anti-bullying, GLBT inclusive curriculum. MSP Superintendent, Dr. Green, strongly advocates a proactive approach to address the issues of bullying in our schools, especially as it targets GLBT children, their families, and all children who witness or participate in bullying behavior targeting
e states:

"The Welcoming Schools curriculum is a tool to combat bullying, by focusing on diversity, gender stereotyping and name-calling. This project, being voluntarily piloted in three MPS schools, complements the district's health education standards which require that students from kindergarten and up "state a way that people are the same and different," and students from second grade and up "identify different family patterns (nuclear, single parent, gay, lesbian, adoptive, foster, extended, etc.)."

Yesterday's homophobic and grotesquely misleading column by Katherine Kersten in the Star Tribune has generated much discussion (some negative and quite a bit positive) about the implementation of this pilot program. As a minority of vocal opponents can generate misinformation about the curriculum and a create the false impression that this project lacks popular support, I plan to attend tonight's school board meeting to speak in support of the Welcoming School's pilot program.


LAST MONTH"S MEETING, ONLY OPPPONENTS SHOWED UP AND THERE WAS NO VISIBLE SUPPORT! We can't let Kersten's demagoguery mobilize those who want to keep the schools safe for bullies; we need to confront these efforts vigorously and publicly.

[My daughter's school] already has an active bullying prevention program and my daughter reports to me that she has not experienced bullying herself (although she recognizes that it may occur). Every child should be fortunate enough to have the experience she has had.

I wanted to let you know that am #4 on the list of people to speak between 5:30 and 6:00 tonight at the Public Input time slot for the School Board Meeting.

As a member of Rainbow Families, the mother of a 8th grader, and professor who is active with the GLBTA Program and the Transgender Commission, I will be there because every child has the right to learn in a safe environment, because all children suffer negative consequences when some children are bullied, and because I interact frequently with adult students who are still suffering from bullying at the school where I work. I applaud the strong commitment by the Superintendent and School Board to educate staff and teachers as well as students and their families about what we can all do to combat bullying and create affirming and welcoming schools in partnership with Out 4 Good and Rainbow Families

I will only have 3 minutes. I hope that you or your friends, co-workers, or acquaintances might consider being present at tonight's meeting to support me and my family, and to increase the visibilty of public support for GLBT families in Minneapolis Public Schools.

Better yet, if you have the possibility of putting yourself on the agenda, you can call and you will get 3 minutes, too!


Our family and others are out at school as families with gay parents.
Not every family or child has had the positive experience we have had; we need to work to change this. Thanks

Yours,
momo

National Coming Out Week

This semester I came out to my students as a member of a Rainbow Family: I'm a straight woman who co-parents with two men who are married to each other (legally! at least in Spain). I didn't think about it for a long time; it came up naturally when a student said she wanted to study the differences between gay marriage arguments in the US and in Spain. There was no particular reaction, at least not a public one. I've been reading some coming out stories, and tomorrow I'll attend the National Coming Out Day luncheon at the Convention Center. I'll get to sit with co-workers who have become friends through the work I've been doing as an ally on the Transgender commission and as a networkers for GLBT faculty and students. Next week, I'm bringing someone to campus who has been working to incorporate sexualities into university curricula in a number of countries. I hope the visit make possible some new connections, projects, relationships among folks with common interests.

I've been feeling like one of those Tinker Toys, the round part with the holes where you stick the spokes.