Sneaker wave

Poor lonely blog! I have been spending too much time with Twitter and Tumblr, so I have neglected you!

Some of my energy this year has been invested in working on wellness, always a precarious balance for me. But I signed up for a phone coaching thingie through my employer's wellness program, and one of their people called unexpectedly tonight. As we talked, I was able to look back and recognize that I have made real changes, and my back pain has really diminished. Yay! It's kind of strange to have a conversation about your health with a total stranger who is working from a script, albeit unobtrusively, but it does give you a chance to say, "what are my goals? how am I doing? what is getting in the way, what is working?" without going to see a therapist.

So. Up until this past week, I felt as if I had been having an exceptionally good year.  Accompanying my daughter through her high school graduation, college acceptance, and moving out to start her studies has been such a wonderful journey. So many long-term plans, so many past uncertainties, so much joy.  I'm so happy to see her so happy. My goal has been to give her what was given to me: the opportunity to study without taking on debt. What was relatively easy for my family has now become a much more daunting enterprise for a middle-class family, but I'm grateful it is still within reach for us. I feel a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that I've been able to manage to meet whatever needs are left over after her talent and hard work helped her achieve her goals.

I also initiated some long overdue action to improve my working situation this year.  This, unfortuantely, has not come to fruition the way I had hoped, and I have been more disappointed than I expected to be. In fact, this weekend and in the past few days I have experienced one of the worst bouts of acute depression I can remember in many years. It seems to come out of nowhere, like one of those sneaker waves that makes the west coast beaches so dangerous. Never turn your back on the ocean, they say. So I did something I have often failed to do in the past: I reached out for help until I found it.



Could it be the energy of the so-called "monster moon", the full moon in Aries of Saturday night, that my horoscope warned me would be so hard for Scorpios?  I thought I was safe until Sunday night when I broke a toe. Bwah! But cosmic energy can also be channeled by intention: What will I choose to make of the message that I received today, an offer of support that I experienced as a threat?
 

Getting to know your hippocampus

PBS has a series called This Emotional Life. One of the topics the show addresses is depression: what is the difference between chronic depression and feeling sad?

"Major depression is profound depression. The person with major depression usually experiences a complete loss of pleasure in nearly everything that once brought them happiness. These episodes usually are not triggered by any specific event. During a depressive episode, even a positive event does not lift the person’s mood much. Major depression often interferes with a person’s ability to work or go to school, sleep, study, or eat. At least half of the people who suffer from one depressive episode will experience a second within 10 years. But other types of depression have been also identified, including dysthymia, postpartum depression, bipolar disorder (formerly called “manic depression”) and seasonal affective disorder (SAD)."

The show outlines research that suggests, through brain imaging, that people with depression show changes in the region of the brain known as the hippocampus. In other words, depression is associated with a physical change in the brain. This seems to have to do with the fact that nerve cells in the hippocampus are responsive to stress hormones, such as cortisol. Stress motivates us to both physical or mental activity;, but if we are not able to burn off the extra fuel our bodies produce in response to stress hormones, it can overload our systems and affect bone density, blood pressure, and other systems. Too much stress over too long a period of time (in the form of the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline) may disregulate this part of the neurological system.

The hippocampus is a structure in the brain shared by all mammals. Because of its shape, it was given a name derived from "seahorse." It is thought to play an important role in certain types of memory and of spatial recognition. Damage or lesions to parts of the hippocampus can be seen in people suffering from Alzheimers, forms of amnesia, and other conditiions. Shrinkage, or atrophy of the hippocampus ("reduced hippocampal volume" the studies call it) has been observed in people suffering from schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, major depressive disorder (MDD), and post-traumatic stress disorder. Although there are many unanswered questions about the implications of these recent findings, one striking implication that is being studied is that early diagnosis and treatment can not only help people manage their symptoms, but also actually help heal the part of the brain that seems to suffer the effects or cause (it's not clear which) these disabling conditions.

What is more, brain scans have also shown that anti-depressants, the medications used to treat depression, can not only alleviate symptoms, but also affect (halt or reverse) damage to the hippocamus. Studies also show increased hippocampal volume in London Taxi Drivers, who must remember every single street in London and pass a test called "The Knowledge". Part of the hippocampus was larger than average in these drivers, especially those who had been driving longer! The hippocampus helps lay down a spatial map, and has a role in the "recollection function" of memory.


Neuroplasticity! gotta love it.