Sagamihara

When I was five, our family left El Paso, Texas, on the first stage of our journey to Japan, where my father was to be stationed. We drove to California. I don't remember the drive, but I do remember that we stopped at the San Diego Zoo and Disneyland on our way to San Francisco. What must it have been like to have three kids under six in the back seat of the car? 

From San Francisco, we took ship to Japan, a two-week trip with a stop in Hawaii. The ship was  the USNS Gen. Hugh J. Gaffey, one of many ships in the Military Sea Transport Service (MSTS). This essay by Tom Barry on the JapanBrats blog includes the memories of many kids who made the trip with their families during those years. I also remember the spartan conditions, the boredom, the cramped cabins (I think we were all sick at one point), but also crossing the International Dateline, seeing flying fish, and arriving at Yokohama, welcomed by a band.

 When we arrived, housing wasn't ready for us yet, so we lived for a few months in temporary housing at the Sagami Depot. I remember the rows of tanks and half-tracks parked on the other side of the fence. We slept in a bunk bed, which was exciting, but at least one of us fell out. I had my sixth birthday there. 

We then moved to Sagamihara Dependent Housing Area, which was part of the military complex supporting Camp Zama, where my father was working in the hospital as a surgeon.  Here we see the base as an island of green in a highly urbanized area, but I remember farmland.


According to my father, in the first two years we were there, it was like working in a small town, but with the escalation of the war in Viet Nam, the number of wounded being transported was such that the 100 beds were increased to 500, and three other hospitals were built, to receive the thousands of casualties that were to arrive in the next few years. 

Of course, I knew almost nothing of this. What I remember is my first grade teacher, Miss Bell, whom I adored.  The Snack Bar had a jukebox and hamburgers. We loved an excuse to eat there.
 

 Teachers from the Elementary School. We lived next door to Mrs. Allen.There were three kids: Sharon, who was twelve, was like a goddess to me. Debbie Cynthia, who was my age, beat me up. Billy, who was younger, was, according to my mother, a brat.

 I learned to swim in this pool, where we spent hours and hours in the summer.

 

The "Up Series" part 2:

As I finished my Netflix marathon of the Up documentary series, I realized that I am the same age as this group. Well, slightly younger, but I also turned 7 in 1964, the year of the first film.  I decided to make my own timeline, parallel to the series: where was I in the year of the release of each part, or when I was the age given in each title: 7, 14, 21, 29, 35, 42, 49, and now 56? (although because I'm a year behind, I'll have to settle for just-turned-55).

Because my family moved frequently when I was young (dad was a doctor in the Army), to make my timeline I found that I had to do some work to nail down the exact dates for events that I vaguely remembered: when did we move? when were we in each housing situation? what grade was I in at school?

As I worked out this chronology, I also wondered what  I really remembered about those years, and how this somewhat arbitrary cycle relates to other milestones in my life, such as graduating from high school, or moving to Minnesota.  I wondered what I might have said if I had been interviewed like those children: what was my heart's desire (to be a horse. And if I couldn't be a horse, to be an archaeologist in Egypt). Where would I go to school in the future (absolutely no clue). Did I have a boyfriend (no, but I had an intense crush on Mike Fukushima, to whom I never said a word, a pattern that would be repeated each school year until I was in high school).

My life has been at once typically American middle class in many ways and rather unorthodox in others. I've previously counted the number of times we moved (4), the number of homes we lived in (7) while we were still in the Army. I've reckoned my life in boyfriends/relationships with men. And then there are the more traditional timelines of schooling, career, parenting. How does this 7+7 timeline intersect with these?

I started to write about what I remembered from age 7, from the year 1964. My family had just moved from El Paso, Texas, where my brother and sister were born, to an Sagamihara Dependent Housing Area, near Tokyo because my rather had been stationed in Camp Zama hospita. I realized that Apted's films almost never refer directly to national or world events, whereas my life was shaped, at this point especially, by my father's work as an Army doctor during the major escalation of the Viet Namwar. Yet I know almost nothing about what my father was doing, what he thought or felt about the extraordinary experiences he lived through as a surgeon at Camp Zama from 1963 to 1967.

Colbert: funny AND a mensch

 (via Alan Sepinwall, one of my favorite TV critics)

"Breaking Downton" Warning: NSFW and lots of insidery Breaking Bad jokes, but I love it!

The Colbert Report
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The "real" Stephen Colbert started a super-PAC to draw attention to the evil of PACS (my words), and actually raised a boatload of money. Here is his way of sharing the fact that the money has all been donated to groups helping victims of Hurricane Sandy, and also a group working for campaign finance reform. 

The Colbert Report
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Nicholas David (Mrozinski)

Minnesota native son (Saint Paul! Eagan!) has made it to the final three on The Voice. Like the other two finalists, he has been gigging around, recording his own music, playing in bands.  They aren't amateurs.
 If you want to hear a genuine Minnesota accent, listen to his dad in this little bio clip. Pure.


 You can find his original music at his website,

He's pretty scruffy in his audition with "Stand By Me," but Cee Lo picks him for his team. Wise choice, Cee Lo, because he has become a fan favorite.

Jennifer Hudson ("Holy Buckets!") worked with him on this Bill Withers song, "Lean on Me" (one of my favorite songs ever).

He gave his own flavor to this up-tempo Barry White song.

 "The Power of Love" gets the soul treatment.

The other two finalists are good.  I don't much care for Cassadee, but the rocker dude Terry McDermott has a great voice, of the power tenor rocker type, and sings with conviction. He has covered songs by The Who, Journey, Boston, and even the Kansas classic, "Carry On, My Wayward Son." (aka "The Supernatural song") Does that mean that the Supernatural fandom will vote for him en masse?  If so, watch out.

The "Up series" Part 1

Having seen the POV blog's list of best documentaries, I was reminded of my desire to see the series of films by Michael Apted, now known as the "Up series" In 1964, Apted was brought in on a project that later he made his: a group of children from widely different backgrounds was selected and then interviewed, with the premise: who will they be in the year 2000? The assumption or question behind the films, made every seven years since then, had to do with ideas about class in British society. Were these children already who they would be, by the age of seven? Were their paths laid out for them and constrained in such a way that they would conform or be limited by class expectations or opportunities such as education? The first documentary ended with the sentence "Give me the child until he is seven, and I will give you the man."
Here's the first part of the first film. You can watch the whole series on Netflix streaming. 



The films don't set out to be anthropology, sociology or psychology in an academic sense, but they do prompt reflection on  nature and nurture,  the work of marriage,  mental health, parenting, immigration, changing gender roles. The seven-year olds from the upper-class backgrounds are clearly parroting what they've heard from their parents when they list the schools they expect to attend, in contrast to the boy in the orphanage who asks, "What's university?" It is also not revealed that the boy who seems to be the most Tory in his statements, John, the most representative of a certain upper-class posture, lost his father at the age of 9, and was raised by his Hungarian mother, attending public schools on scholarship. Although he has privilege and wealth, his life was not as easy as the films imply.

One of my favorite moments in the 14-year old episode is when Suzy, also from a wealthy background, refusing to look directly at the camera and clearly uncomfortable about the whole deal, responds with a perfect teenager eye-roll to an earnest question by Apted, off camera.

The last of the series that I was able to see was 49 Up. Here's a clip:


The latest film, 56 Up, has already been screened in the UK, and will probably be released shown in the US in Jan 2013. Much has been said about the how this series of films has affected the lives of the participants, and how it continues to fascinate viewers, especially now that "reality TV" is present as a comparison. Apted has said that he regrets that there were not more girls in the bunch, or more middle-class children, but even if the group is not truly representative of their generation in that sense, the series is a fascinating longitudinal study of human beings, as well as compelling cinema.

POV blog offers a list of 100 documentary films to see

Now I know what to add to my Netflix queue! I copied this list from the PBS program POV's blog.  They crowd-sourced a list of documentaries from their viewers. Naturally, some readers left their expressions of outrage in the comments, but also included more titles.

I have seen 33 of them (marked with strike-through) and have heard of most of the others. Some I will probably never see (The Cove, no, I can't). There are at least 2 or 3 that I think I might have seen, but I honestly can't actually remember if I just saw a clip in a class (Shoah, Gimme Shelter) or did see them at the PFA  (For the 15 years I lived in Berkeley, I don't think I ever lived more than six blocks from the Pacific Film Archive, where I went instead of watching the TV I did not have: a different double feature almost every night of films new and old, from all over the world).

This list has struck my "completist"  nerve, and I will probably look at the titles with a different sense of motivation the next time I am scrolling through my queue, trying to decide what I feel like watching.

I really want to see the Up series.

The 100 “Greatest” Documentaries

In November 2012, POV asked its viewers, “What do you think are the greatest documentaries of all time?” Viewers were allowed to define “greatest” however they wished, whether that meant the most expertly crafted, influential, illuminating, impactful, form-defining, beloved or simply those that were the most successful at the box office. After 30 days of voting on over 1000 submissions, these 100 came out on top. How many have you seen?

1. Grey Gardens (1975)
2. Paris is Burning (1990)
3. Hoop Dreams (1994)
4. The Thin Blue Line (1988)
5. Bowling for Columbine (2002)
6. Harlan County, USA (1976)
7. The Times of Harvey Milk (1984)
8. Grizzly Man (2005)
9. Roger & Me (1989)
10. Exit Through the Gift Shop (2010)
11. Man on Wire (2008)
12. The Fog of War: Eleven Lessons from the Life of Robert S. McNamara (2003)
13. The Up Series (1964-)
14. Capturing the Friedmans (2003)
15. Crumb (1994)
16. Jesus Camp (2006)
17. Food, Inc. (2008)
18. King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters (2007)
19. An Inconvenient Truth (2006)
20. Salesman (1968)
21. Man With a Movie Camera (1929)
22. Super Size Me (2004)
23. Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004)
24. Woodstock (1970)
25. Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room (2005)
26. American Movie (1999)
27. Night and Fog (Nuit et brouillard) (1955)
28. The Civil War (1990)
29. March of the Penguins (2005)
30. Titicut Follies (1967)
31. Sherman’s March (1986)
32. Planet Earth (2006)
33. Eyes on the Prize (1987)
34. Religulous (2008)
35. The Last Waltz (1978)
36. Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills (1996)
37. Spellbound (2002)
38. Born into Brothels (2004)
39. Dogtown and Z-Boys (2001)
40. Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse (1991)
41. Koyaanisqatsi (1982)
42. The Cove (2009)
43. Nanook of the North (1922)
44. The Corporation (2003)
45. The Celluloid Closet (1995)
46. Buena Vista Social Club (1998)
47. Sicko (2007)
48. Waltz with Bashir (2008)
49. Gimme Shelter (1970)
50. Stop Making Sense (1984)
51. Shoah (1985)
52. When We Were Kings (1996)
53. Who Killed the Electric Car? (2006)
54. Inside Job (2010)
55. Hearts and Minds (1974)
56. Murderball
57. The Gleaners & I (2000)
58. Restrepo (2010)
59. Bill Cunningham New York (2010)
60. Sans Soleil (Sunless) (1983)
61. Dont Look Back (1967)
62. Touching the Void (2003)
63. Everyday Sunshine: The Story of Fishbone (2010)
64. Baraka (1992)
65. This Film Is Not Yet Rated (2006)
66. Tongues Untied (1989)
67. Brother’s Keeper (1992)
68. High School (1968)
69. F for Fake (1973)
70. Capitalism: A Love Story (2009)
71. Dark Days (2000)
72. Cave of Forgotten Dreams (2010)
73. Cosmos (1980)
74. Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father (2008)
75. Helvetica (2007)
76. Why We Fight (2005)
77. Winged Migration (2002)
78. The Aristocrats (2005)
79. Last Train Home (2009)
80. The Atomic Cafe (1982)
81. Jiro Dreams of Sushi (2011)
82. Wordplay (2006)
83. Burden of Dreams (1982)
84. Monterey Pop (1968)
85. The Battle of Chile (1975-1979)
86. The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill (2003)
87. Gasland (2010)
88. The Interrupters (2011)
89. Catfish (2010)
90. The Endless Summer (1966)
91. Marwencol (2010)
92. If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front (2011)
93. Triumph of the Will (1934)
94. King Corn (2007)
95. Madonna: Truth or Dare (1991)
96. No Direction Home: Bob Dylan (2005)
97. Sweetgrass (2009)
98. The Kid Stays in the Picture (2002)
99. The Decline of Western Civilization (1981)
100. Fast, Cheap and Out of Control (1997)

So glad we bought a snowblower last week!

 By the time I took the brand new "snow blower" out for its test run, seven inches of very wet snow had fallen. It is called a "quitanieves" in Spanish or "souffleuse de neige" in French, according to the trilingual manual. I got it on sale last week, fifty dollars less than today.

 I was thrilled! It did a great job of shooting the snow over to the side ( your turn a little crank to redirect the spout), and cleared the sidewalks down to the last half inch, but there was so much water in the snow that I had to use a shovel to hack up the stuff that was packed down by pedestrians. Still a workout to haul it around without running over the extension cord (special! for super-cold temps!), but I got the hang of it really fast. It's easy to use, and I don't have to worry about gas. The snow is still falling, and they are predicting 14" total by tomorrow morning's commute. I'll be doing it all again in the morning, but at least I won't be trying to move over a foot of wet snow, which would surely burn out the belt in no time.

A Snow Emergency has been declared, so parking restrictions go into place. In Minneapolis, for those of us without garages, this means the dance of odd/even sides of the street. If you don't move your car correctly during the time frames, you WILL be towed and it will cost a lot of money and take at least half a day to get your car back.

 My first snow tow, several years ago now, required a three-hour wait in a line at -11 degrees, so that by the time I got to pay my fine, I had to pee so badly I almost didn't make it home in time. NEVER AGAIN. Even with my butt-ugly Sorel boots that I bought in 1988 when I moved here, a full-length down coat with a hood, a wool hat, muffler and double ragg-wool mittens, I was miserable in that line

Tomorrow, I'll also have to shovel out  the garbage and recycling bins aren't so they won't be behind a snow berm in the alley, that will freeze and be there for the rest of the winter.

UPDATED TO ADD: 15" total,  and I"m so glad it shoveled the first 7" yesterday. It made today's job so much easier. But there is not getting around the fact that shoveling the snow away from the garbage and recycling bins, without getting it in the alley, is freakin' hard work.  It is one good way to meet your neighbors, though.

Someone made this nifty little song to help remember where to move your car and when.

Midweek round-up: political metaphors, animal antidotes, Velvet Underground

Everyone and their brother has embedded this; let me jump on the bandwagon: Montgomery Burns gives  his explanation of the "fiscal cliff."

Are you as tired as I am of the misleading metaphor "fiscal cliff"? George Lakoff, UC Berkeley professor of Linguistics and author of many books about metaphor and the embodied mind, tells us how it works, and why it is so hard to get rid of it.

When I am feeling particularly stressed out, I have found that visiting the site ZooBorns always makes me feel better. The videos of this lion mother with her four cubs have been especially lovely.

Wow, Science Friday, the NPR show that I love, has a Spanish-language blog!

Velvet Underground, live in 1969.
Set List:
1. Heroin (0:00)
2. Move Right In (8:26)
3. I’m Set Free (13:12)
4. Run Run Run (17:49)
5. I’m Waiting For The Man (25:39)
6. What Goes On (34:35)
7. I Can’t Stand It (39:05)
8. Candy Says (45:23)
9. Beginning To See The Light (50:10)
10. White Light/White Heat (56:00)
11. Pale Blue Eyes (61:42)
12. Sister Ray (68:10)

Old school "Reading Rainbow"

Today I learned that this is Chaka Khan singing the theme song to Reading Rainbow. No wonder.

Pixies, "Where is My Mind" and second chances in life

 I'm so glad I go to see the Pixies on their most recent tour, when they played the album "Doolittle." They were hugely influential, if not as commercially successful as some other bands, but broke up for a while.  I missed knowing about them their first time around, in the late eighties: too busy finishing my PhD and trying to get a job. So, thanks to Rick, who snagged tickets and took me along. Their show was insanely great.

Their generous web site has boatloads of material you can download for free: live concerts, great stuff.

Live, 1988 "Where is My Mind"


loudQUIETloud is a documentary about the band's reunion in 2004. I found it totally engrossing, because it is a portrait of a second act in life, for people who have been through recovery, started new lives, had children, and who still can create that magic when they go out on stage together, even if they are not best friends when they are off stage.


This British Channel 4 documentary "Gouge" interviews many musicians about how hearing Pixies in the late '80s influenced them. Is not David Bowie mesmerizing? He's so intelligent, and so beautiful.


 Not enough Kim Deal, though. Gotta fix that:

Change is good

This week, I made a big decision. It will take along time to put into action, but in my gut it feels right. I'm going to let go of a dream that has been dead for a long time now. I'm very fortunate that the change I'm going to make can be done slowly, and in a way that shelters me from uncertainty, but it will be a big change. Looking back, I realize that I have been working hard in the last few years to make positive changes, but the paths I followed were dead ends. It's time to cut it all loose.

No more gnashing of teeth, no more chasing my tail, no more struggling, mired in the Slough of Despond. It exhausts me; it is dreary, and boring, and it could go on forever while I sink in over my head, every semester, and gasp and drown and flail.

I hereby declare that my war on reality is over. I surrender, and I'm going to move on. I have tried valiantly, and then foolishly, to change things I cannot change. (Because it wasn't FAIR!) They are not going to change. I, on the other hand, have changed, and need to make change, for the better. I'm must try to move forward  from possibility instead of fear. The fears have not gone away, but now I also feel a sense of certainty that I have always trusted in the past. This feels right.

Already, I am flooded with relief and eagerness for the future. At the same time, I'm humbled to recognize that I have choices that most people won't have. I can't, I won't let fear prevent me from making them.

Small steps.
I'm taking a medical leave to regroup, rest, recover. I'm leaning on my medical team: changing medications, working to find the right therapist, doing my spiritual homework.
So much clutter. It's time to cut it loose.

Argle Bargle

One step out the door. I'm requested a medical leave today, something I should probably have done two months ago when I fell into the Slough of Despond *shudder*

Maybe I put it off because the round of paperwork, phone calls, and permission is so daunting,  argle bargle. I have been waiting two months  (TWO MONTHS) for a medical appointment with a specialist because the only way to be seen any sooner would have been to check myself into a hospital. Which I very seriously considered, but then I decided to hold out as long as I could.

Is it an omen that when I got home the cat had barfed on the bathmat and peed on a blanket in his basket on the porch? I think I need to take him to the vet, poor baby.

what is this sorcery?!!??

Dragon House!

Warning Sign

I woke up sad this morning. The news is grim. Guns and war and greed and fear. In my own little corner of the world, I'm safe and showered with blessings, but paranoia seeps in.

Warning sign, warning sign,
I hear it but I pay no mind.
Hear my voice, hear my voice,
It's saying something and its not very nice.
Pay attention! Pay attention, I'm talking to you and I hope you're concentrating.
I've got money now, I've got money now,
C'mon baby, c'mon baby.

Warning sign of things to come (take it over, take it over)
It happened before, it will happen again.
Hear my voice, move my hair.
I move it around a lot, but I don't care. (what I remember)

Warning sign, warning sign,
Look at my hair, I like the design.
It's the truth, it's the truth.
Your glassy eyes and your open mouth
Take it easy, take it easy,
It's a natural thing and you have to relax,
I've got money now, I've got money now.
C'mon baby, C'mon baby.

Warning sign, of things to come (turn me over, turn me over)
Love is here but I guess it's gone now (hurry up babe,
hurry up babe),
Hear my voice, move my hair.
I move it around a lot, but I don't care what I remember.

Do you remember
What it is that you remember
Baby remember
Baby remember.

Rob Brezsny has a bit from his book Pronoaia next to my horoscope:

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When the spell is broken, you will be able to tap into resources you've been cut off from. When the spell is broken, you will finally notice the big, beautiful secrets that have been lying in plain sight. What is that spell? Can you break it yourself?

What is that spell? I blame, I blame the patriarchy.

Movies this week

Cloud Atlas. No, I haven't read the book. Yes, it does have some of the flaws of earlier Wachowski films, but damn if it isn't a spectacular, amazing, multi-narrative, multi-layered film that never slows down and provides some great actors with opportunities to play multiple roles. I'm not always a Tom Hanks fan, but he was brilliant. Halle Berry gets to be more than a pretty face, and Hugo Weaving is awesome as usual. Also features Susan Sarandon, Jim Broadbent, Hugh Grant, Jim Sturgess, Ben Wishaw (he is always amazing), James D'Arcy, and Doona Bae, who was just wonderful.  I want to see it again. Tom Tykwer is co-director, and he and his bandmates provided a gorgeous, gorgeous score.

Silver Lining Playbook (sneak preview). Finally Bradley Cooper gets a meaty serious role where he can show his acting chops. He and Jennifer Lawrence were terrific, and David O Russell managed to combine a serious and often frightening treatment of mental illness with humor and compassion, and a wonderful "redemption through ballroom dancing" ending that was both satisfying and self-aware.  Robert DeNiro gives one of his best comedic performances, and the supporting cast is terrific. The audience I saw it with applauded at the end. Good use of songs with Danny Elfman coordinating the music. Mandy Moore was the choreographer and dance coach.

Howl's Moving Castle. We adore Miyazaki movies, but we have only ever seen them on DVD. To see this film in a movie theater was wonderful. The quality of the art, the colors, the animation, the wonderful music: it was all so much more vivid and compelling on the big screen. They were only showing the English dub, but the voice acting was terrific: Christian Bale, Lauren Bacall, Jean Simmons, Blythe Danner, Emily Mortimer, Billy Crystal.

Life list #3: New recipe every week: Aloo Gobi

I'm getting a box from my CSA, Featherstone Farms, every two weeks this winter. In the past, I've always done the summer share, and I love it, but I'm a big fan of winter root veggies and the kind of greens that you can get in the late fall. I'm interested to see what kinds of crops we'll get. So far in the first two boxes I have received cilantro, parsley, delicata squash, beets, kale, spinach, potatoes, red and white onions, radishes, tender cauliflower, fabulous broccoli,  cabbage, and napa cabbage. Oh, and a pumpkin!

I can tell I'm going to have to make sure I don't get behind on cooking all the vegetables! Today, I roasted some of the carrots and potatoes with olive oil and salt, roasted the beets in their jackets, steamed the spinach, and baked a kabocha squash I had from before. For my new recipe of the week, I made a cauliflower curry from the slow-cooker cookbook. All the vegetables were from the farm except the garlic and ginger.

Slow-cooker cauliflower curry (Aloo Gobi)
Chop a red onion, super fresh cauliflower and sweet crisp carrots. Throw in a few small potatoes, garlic and ginger, some chopped cilantro. Season with Garam Masala, salt, pepper, cumin. Add two T of good tomato paste (in the absence of fresh tomatoes) and a splash of beer to moisten. Mix it all up in the slow cooker, then cook on low for 4-5 hours. Everything gets melty and permeated with the sauce, and the whole thing is yummy.

The carrots are not typical, but I couldn't resist. I could have added a sliced jalapeño or serrano pepper, some turmeric, maybe toasted some black mustard seeds, but I didn't have them on hand. One can also prepare this on the stove top, but I LOVE my slow-cooker.

Monday's Scorpio New Moon Eclipse

A new moon is a time for planting seeds, and the new moon in Scorpio means we have the chance to dive deep and work through our deepest truths, to be reborn like the phoenix from its ashes.
What would this mean for you? What does it mean for me?

Monday's total solar eclipse intensifies this moment; the sun, the moon, and the earth are aligned.  The last such eclipse in this series was 18 years ago, within days of my child's birth and my own birthday. It was a moment of profound transformation, birth and rebirth. Now she is 18 and has moved out of the house, on her own journey as an artist and student and a young woman. I didn't realize how profoundly this would affect me, but after some hard struggle I am moving through, opening myself up to this moment of transformation.

The Scorpio archetype calls to mind Persephone's descent to the underworld, which she must do to detach from her mother Demeter.

Kelly Rosano says: be a conscious creator.

At Empowering Astrology,  prepare yourself  "To boldly go where no man has gone before".

Molly Hall suggests some Scorpio New Moon Tips

• Avoid obsessing on "what ifs" -- gravitate to activities that make you feel hopeful.
• Take a long bath with special salts or oils. (I went to the sauna at the Y)
• Minimize the rushing around, in favor of some empty space on your day planner.
• Sage your space, and invoke spirits of protection, if necessary.
• Recall your energy from bad investments, and feel it concentrating around you.

Detox and purge. Surrender and feel all the feelings, then let go of them.

Today I listen to Lucinda Williams's song "Get Right With God"

I would risk the serpent's bite
I would dance around with seven
I would kiss the diamond back
If I knew it would get me to heaven

(Chorus:)
'Cause I want to get right with God
Yes, you know you got to get right with God

I would burn the soles of my feet
Burn the palms of both my hands
If I could learn and be complete
If I could walk righteously again

I would sleep on a bed of nails
'Till my back was torn and bleeding
In the deep darkness of Hell
The Damascus of my meeting

I asked God about his plan
To save us all from Satan's slaughter
If I give up one of my lambs
Will you take me as one of your daughters?

Vote No: The moment they learned that their hard work had been successful

Waiting for the results on the MN constitutional marriage amendment,  the campaign workers for Minnesota United for All Families listen to a pep talk and are told by campaign director Richard Carlbom that they should probably go home. But first, a list of their accomplishments in the campaign to get out the vote and talk to people about the issues.  Suddenly, a phone call and the announcement that the AP has called it: the No vote won. Jubilation!

Antidote: Jon Stewart mocking Fox News

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
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"Is that just math you do as a Republican to make yourself feel better?" Megan goes to the Decision Desk.

Resaca

After a year of relentless psychic brutality, the campaigns are over. I'm feeling physically and mentally battered. I need to do some kind of cleansing ritual.

"Dirt Day" Laurie Anderson at the Walker

I saw Laurie Anderson perform "Dirt Day" at the Walker last night. I ended up with an extra ticket at the last minute, so I left it at the box office; they said a woman was on the waiting list. After I had been in my seat for a while, she arrived, offering to pay me. I said that since it was going to be my birthday, the ticket was a gift. We talked and discovered some things in common, so after the show, exchanged emails.
The piece was nothing like the "hits" I know, but combined many of the elements of her previous work. It was infused with great melancholy, as well as humor.

And, for old time's sake, here's the first thing I ever heard her do:

Ha, Ha!

Same Love

Macklemore and Ryan Lewis feat. Mary Lambert. Wonderful song, wonderful film.

Joss Whedon on the zombie apocalypse

Funny, but sort of not.

HRC awward to Lana Wachowski

I want to watch this video a few more times. There are so many important things that Lana says.

Happy Birthday, Wanda Jackson!

Today is the day to channel your inner Wanda Jackson: badass at any age! Early star of rock and roll, Queen of Rockabilly, successful in country music, inspiration to new generation of musicians.
Here she is in 1956, singing"Hard-headed woman" with a great fringed dress!


Here she performing "Thunder on the Mountain" from the album The Party Ain't Over, produced by Jack White. 

Roiling waters

Susan Miller's Astrologyzone forecast for me for the month of October is feeling very potent right now.
 
Free Will Astrology's Scorpio Horoscope for week of October 18, 2012:

Sometime soon you may dream of being naked at a public event like a class at school or a committee meeting. I think this would be an excellent omen, so I hope it comes to pass. It would signify that you're ready to shed the disguises that have been making it problematical for you to reinvent yourself. Who is the New You? Stripping down to the bare essentials in your dreams will help you see raw truths about your waking life.

So, it turns out that my sun sign is Scorpio, but my rising sign and moon are both Aries.

Romnesia FTW

"I think it's called Romnesia."

Thrift Shop-Macklemore and Ryan Lewis feat. Wanz

Sneaker wave

Poor lonely blog! I have been spending too much time with Twitter and Tumblr, so I have neglected you!

Some of my energy this year has been invested in working on wellness, always a precarious balance for me. But I signed up for a phone coaching thingie through my employer's wellness program, and one of their people called unexpectedly tonight. As we talked, I was able to look back and recognize that I have made real changes, and my back pain has really diminished. Yay! It's kind of strange to have a conversation about your health with a total stranger who is working from a script, albeit unobtrusively, but it does give you a chance to say, "what are my goals? how am I doing? what is getting in the way, what is working?" without going to see a therapist.

So. Up until this past week, I felt as if I had been having an exceptionally good year.  Accompanying my daughter through her high school graduation, college acceptance, and moving out to start her studies has been such a wonderful journey. So many long-term plans, so many past uncertainties, so much joy.  I'm so happy to see her so happy. My goal has been to give her what was given to me: the opportunity to study without taking on debt. What was relatively easy for my family has now become a much more daunting enterprise for a middle-class family, but I'm grateful it is still within reach for us. I feel a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that I've been able to manage to meet whatever needs are left over after her talent and hard work helped her achieve her goals.

I also initiated some long overdue action to improve my working situation this year.  This, unfortuantely, has not come to fruition the way I had hoped, and I have been more disappointed than I expected to be. In fact, this weekend and in the past few days I have experienced one of the worst bouts of acute depression I can remember in many years. It seems to come out of nowhere, like one of those sneaker waves that makes the west coast beaches so dangerous. Never turn your back on the ocean, they say. So I did something I have often failed to do in the past: I reached out for help until I found it.



Could it be the energy of the so-called "monster moon", the full moon in Aries of Saturday night, that my horoscope warned me would be so hard for Scorpios?  I thought I was safe until Sunday night when I broke a toe. Bwah! But cosmic energy can also be channeled by intention: What will I choose to make of the message that I received today, an offer of support that I experienced as a threat?
 

what's going on in Spain

Madrid On The Brink: S25 → S29 from brandon jourdan on Vimeo.

K-pop idol G-Dragon

Get your cray on

Great little introduction to K-Pop over on Boing Boing for those of us who have found Gangnam Style stuck in our heads for the last month. The dark underbelly of these pop star factories is a talent recruitment system that sounds terribly exploitative.

Birdboy

"Birdboy", an animated short film by Alberto Vásquez, (artist, animator, illustrator) was awarded the Goya, Spain's version of the Oscars.

Snack! Snack! Snack! CRUNCH!

Hot Cheetos and ....Takis? What are Takis? Mexican junk food, yo.
And this great viral hit was made in Minneapolis! Our favorite snacks of childhood are powerful memories.

Responding to art

Today in class we did some writing assignments in response to Frida Kahlo's painting The Two Fridas (1939). By coincidence, I found this video through Tumblr this morning:
FOUND by Carina Garcia from Van Maximilian Carlson on Vimeo.

Axis Dance Company performances on SYTYCD, 2012 and 2011

Performance on last night's SYTYCD by Axis Dance Company, based in Oakland. They describe what they do as "physically integrated dance."
A different duo also performed last year, and got a bit more of an introduction from Cat:

"On June 30th, 2011 AXIS dance Company was featured on Fox Tv's "So You Think You Can Dance?"
AXIS dancers Sonsheree Giles and Rodney Bell performed an excerpt from "to color me different" choreographed by Alex Ketley."
Music: Bach's Partita for Violin Solo No.2 in D minor, BWV 1004 - 5. Ciaccona"

babies!

Janelle Monae performs "Cold War" at the Nobel Peace Prize concernt 2011

I'm so glad we got to see her perform live. What a great voice!

Janelle Monae for Cover Girl

Janelle Monae inspires me. I love that this ad features members of her band and creative posse.

Weasel war dance vs. "la flemme"

There is a wonderful French expression: "J'ai la flemme de..." It means "I can't be bothered to..." or "I'm too bored to...". I have been busy doing lots of things, but "J'ai la flemme d'écrire dans ce blog."



On the other hand, I've been bitten by the crafter bug. I have made three pillowcases out of dishtowels, knit about ten more inches on a scarf, made about 40 pieces of jewelry, painted or upcycled a number of things around the house, cared for a new garden, and taught myself some macramé.
I know that some of these impulses are bound up with my ongoing process of attempting to negotiate some issues at work, related to improving my conditions due to health issues. So far, I haven't achieved my goal, but I'm making some tiny progress. I will now perform my weasel war dance, as recommended for Scorpios by
Rob Brezsny's in last week's Free Will Astrology:

When a domesticated weasel captures some treasure or beats out a competitor for food, it performs a celebratory dance that's referred to as the "weasel war dance." During this triumphant display, it might hiss, arch its back, fluff out its tail, and hop around madly. I encourage you to come up with your own private version of this ritual, Scorpio. It can be more dignified if you like: snapping your fingers, singing a magical phrase, or raising your arms in a V-for-victory gesture. Whatever you choose, do it after every accomplishment, no matter how small: buying groceries, arriving at an appointment on time, getting a good new idea, or any other success.

Hoy ha muerto Chavela Vargas, 93

Chavela Vargas was born in Costa Rica, but came to Mexico when she was young, and became identified with the Mexican rancheras and boleros she sang. In her eighties, she enjoyed a revival of interest in her music through the appreciation of fans, Pedro Almodóvar's promotion of her music in his films, and the support other musicians such as Joaquin Sabinas. She also came out as lesbian in her eighties, although she lived openly, and claimed that Frida Kahlo was one of her lovers. Recently she recorded a homage to García Lorca. She died peacefully at the age of 93. "Vamonos"
Que no somos iguales
dice la gente
que tu vida y mi vida
se van a perder
que yo soy la canalla
y que tú eres decente
que dos seres distintos
no se pueden querer

Pero yo ya te quise
y no te olvido
y morir en tus brazos
es mi ilusión
yo no entiendo esas cosas
de las clases sociales
solo sé que me quieres
y que te quiero yo

Y vamonos donde nadie nos juzgue
donde nadie nos diga que hacemos mal
vamonos alejados del mundo
donde no haya justicia
ni leyes ni nada
nomás nuestro amor

- Y le dije que nos fuéramos
lejos a un lugar diferente
donde fuéramos iguales
juntitos los dos ¡échele compadre! -

Si no somos iguales
qué nos importa
esta historia de amores
tendrá que seguir
Y como alguien me dijo
que la vida es muy corta
esta vez he venido
para siempre por ti

y yo quiero que sepas
que no te obligo
que si vienes conmigo
es por amor
di con todas tus fuerzas
lo que soy en tu vida
pa' que vean que me quieres
como te quiero yo

ASL covers of some popular songs

"Born This Way" (Ontario


"Call Me Maybe"


That Gotye song....

Mystery plant

Botanical queries

I had fun with the "flower" setting of my camera while in the Denver Botanic Garden, but now I don't remember the names of these plants! I know that this first image is a very close shot of a large Queen Anne's Lace "umbrella" (daucus carota), with the tiny red floret in the center. I remember my mother teaching us to distinguish between Queen Anne's Lace (wild carrot) and poisonous Hemlock when we lived in California.

But what is this bush? are these leaves, stems, or needles? are these orange berries or blossoms? I think I remember something about Spain from reading the tag, but I don't even know how to begin to search for it by describing it.

I've seen these pods with their jewel-like seeds before, but I can't remember what they are.

I'm fairly sure these are the bulbils of some kind of garlic.

There are some Egyptian walking onions down the block, next to a garage, that have produced their little baby onions. I may harvest a few and plant them in our yard.

Denver Botanic Gardens: some sculpture features

I was giddy throughout our time in the Denver Botanic Gardens.  I was not only impressed by the beauty of the many gardens, but also by how well-cared for, how healthy the entire place was. I have been in other gardens not as well cared-for. You can tell that this is a well-run, well-loved place. And they have free wi-fi! I gave my friend and her family a gift membership, since they live so close, so that they can come any time, wander, sit, read, browse, even work.

My photos can only provide a glimpse of how gorgeous these are. You can't see the clouds of bees, hear the sound of water and birds, smell the myriad odors of plants and flowers, taste the apricots we picked up off the ground under the trees loaded with fruit. A few of the more dramatic sights are some of the many sculptures, fountains and ponds.

"Barracuda" suspended in front of a curtain of water

 "Zen" is a highly polished bronze, curved frame for different views of the lilypads and flowers of this pond

Temporary installation of floating woven bamboo sculptures placed throughout the gardens.
This annual report gives a great overview of the Gardens

On top of Mt Evans, Colorado

Mt. Evans is only an hour from Denver. It's over 14,000 ft in altitude at the summit. Above the tree line, there are the tiny flowers of the alpine tundra, and mountain goats.

Denver: Jelly

While I was in Denver, we had brunch at a placed called Jelly.  The food was terrific. They passed the home fries test with flying colors.

There was a wait to get it, but the place was full of fun details, like the collection of vintage cerial boxes framed on the wall. My picture of the Spock Sugar Smacks is too blurry, alas, but the Krusty-0's are a classic.

 The chandelier combined coffee cups and spoons.
What size coffee would you like: hobbit, elf, or wizard?

lily pads at the Denver Botanic Gardens

Testimony about Mitt Romney's record re: LGBT people

"Julie Goodridge was a lead plaintiff in Goodridge v. Dept of Public Health -- the lawsuit that brought same-sex marriage to Massachusetts. In this video, Goodridge shares her family's encounters with Gov. Mitt Romney, including a meeting with Romney, which Goodridge describes as "the most frustrating experience in the entire marriage case." Mitt Gets Worse

The invention of air conditioning

I lived in the Twin Cities for years without air conditioning in my home, office, or car. It was hard. I'm thankful for my A/C now, because otherwise this place would not be fit for human habitation. Yes, I know it is not sustainable. *sigh* (via NewsCut)

"That Gotye Song"

Wait for it.

I'm going to Denver!

A friend has recently moved to Denver to take a new job as a result of some major life changes. I am going to spend a few days with her and her daughter, and I'm so excited to spend time with them, exploring a place I've never been before. Although at first, the "unsinkable Molly Brown" was not one of my first associations with Denver, this little video, a project by a second-grader that is included on the web site of the Molly Brown house, has made me want to learn more about her and her life. as told by Lydia Weinshanker on the Learn page of the Molly Brown House in Denver.

Lovely zucchini blossoms

I went to a local farmers' market, the Fulton Market (on 49th and Chowen) yesterday. It was charming and had terrific vendors of locally grown produce, meats, cheeses, honey, and baked goods. I saw some zucchini blossoms, and was tempted to buy them, but already had enough to last me for the next several days. I took home some delicious icelandic style yoghurt cheese, called skyr, from Star Thrower Farm. It's full of live cultures, but since rennet is used in making it, it's classified as a cheese. Here's a segment from the New York Times about how to prepare squash blossoms without cooking them.

Dies caniculares

 We've been watching this coming for years, but just a month ago I met a man at a party who told all of us in rambling, incoherent, belligerent nonsensical detail that climate scientists are all incompetent and/or liars, that the warnings of human-accelerated climate change are a hoax, bla bla bla. I was filled with such a sudden rage that I had to leave the party. I want my daughter's future to be bright, yet all around me, for decades, I have been watching as we push the planet's limits. The planet will go on without us, but we can make life intolerable and even impossible in a very short time, in our lifetime, and when I look at that reality straight on, I want to break things.

Last year on the 4th of July, I was with friends from Spain here in Minneapolis. We were able to see the fireworks right next to the Stone Arch bridge, in the pouring rain. It was fun as hell. This year, everyone is out of town, and yesterday it was over 100 degrees with an excessive heat advisory, so I stayed home with the cat and heard the booms over the noise of the air conditioner and the fan that are keeping my place at a barely tolerable temperature. This past week of super-hot temps and super-high dew points is fraying my nerves. I think today it may be time to see 3 movies in a row so I can have some decent air-conditioned time. The headlines today are "This is what climate change looks like."

I finally gave up my foolishness and installed a window A/C unit in my bedroom, because the one in the living room can't cool the whole apartment, and it is 95 degrees inside my house. My poor cat and I just can't deal with it any more. This city was never intended for permanent human settlement in the first place.  My consumption is part of the problem, but I don't want to die of heat stroke.

Spain wins the Eurocopa 2012, 4-0 against Italy

Spain is grateful for the distraction from its economic woes and the wildfires raging near Valencia: the national team has won the UEFA Championship--the Eurocopa--for the second time in a row. With the World Cup, this makes three major championships in a row. The level of play in the final, against an Italian team that had also performed brilliansly, left no doubts as to the team's ability to integrate the individual skills of its players into a apectacular team effort. Yes, they have one of the best keepers in the world, yes, they have gifted strikers, but the ticking heart of the team is the unselfish, amazing work of Xavi, Iniesta, Fábregas-who control the ball. the humble, the amazing, always at the heart of the team, Andrés Iniesta. He and Xavi are amazing together, and Cesc Fábregas will be returning to play on a Spanish team.
mad skills, yo! gotta ignore the crappy music that seems to be rule for these tribute videos.

The players' kids on the field after the game were ADORABLE!
And, once the hard work and focused, disciplined team play was over, we had a repeat of the triumphant bus tour of Madrid, culminating in that beloved tradition, the "megabotellón" in Cibeles, complete with jokes, singing, and lots of noise.
"el show de Pepe Reina" blew up Twitter (el megabotellón de Cibeles). His presentations of the players in order of their numbers are drunkenly hilarious and absolutely loved by the crowds.

Garlic Mustard, and other invasive species

I have an unidentified weed in my back yard. Is it garlic mustard? I will have to pull and bag whatever it is because it's going to crowd out whatever else can grow back there. Not that our back yard is very big, but this year I actually have had success in planting and keeping alive some perrenial herbs.

Super duper!

Super-duper!

With Eleanor Powell:



With Rita Hayworth:

Dancing

So You Think You Can Dance has returned for a ninth season, and the top twenty reveal episode is also the 200th episode of the show. This promo shows 200 movies in 200 seconds, and I recognize each and every one of them. Not even all my favorites are in this reel --I love this show, despite the cheese. This season there is an especially talented crop of dancers.

here's your baby rhino for the day

More pictures of Ratu here.

J'attendrai

sung by matinee idol Tino Rossi in 1946.

 I have a great musical memory for the first two lines of a song. After that, I'll remember the music itself, but almost none of the words. It can be maddening. I love YouTube because I can look up a song and its lyrics. This song became a symbol of WWII for millions, and has been used in several films, but it is in my mind right now because my daughter and her dads are all going to Spain for the summer, and I'll be home with the kitty.

J'attendrai
(L. Poterat / D. Olivieri / N. Rastelli / T. Rallo)
J'attendrai le jour et la nuit
J'attendrai toujours ton retour
J'attendrai car l'oiseau qui s'enfuit
vient chercher l'oubli dans son nid
Le temps passait court en battant tristement
dans mon coeur si lourd
Et pourtant j'attendrai ton retour
J'attendrai le jour et la nuit
J'attendrai toujours ton retour
J'attendrai car l'oiseau qui s'enfuit
vient chercher l'oubli dans son nid
Le temps passait court en battant tristement
dans mon coeur si lourd
Et pourtant j'attendrai ton retour
Le vent m'apporte de bruits lointains
Guettant ma porte j'écoute en vain
Hélas, plus rien plus rien ne vient
J'attendrai le jour et la nuit
J'attendrai toujours ton retour
J'attendrai car l'oiseau qui s'enfuit
vient chercher l'oubli dans son nid
Le temps passait court en battant tristement
dans mon coeur si lourd
Et pourtant j'attendrai ton retour
Et pourtant j'attendrai ton retour
Le temps passait court en battant tristement
dans mon coeur si lourd
Et pourtant j'attendrai ton retour

"The Joy of Books" a work of animation art

"Style in The Wire": a video-essay by Erland Lavik

Style in The Wire from Erlend Lavik on Vimeo.

Excellent video-essay on style in contemporary television, and especially in The Wire by Norwegian media scholar Erland Lavik. He addresses a wide range of issues ranging from format to use of music and sound, camera movement, and other visual elements. If you love this show as much as I do (I bought the series on DVD), you'll find your enjoyment enhanced by Lavik's observations.

Haida people speak out against the latest form of colonialism

(via Margaret Atwood, tweeter extraordinaire!) Two ways of talking back. It's not just the Gateway Tar Sands Pipeline project that they resist; that's just the latest manifestation of colonialism. "The land of Haida Gwaii is threatened by the building of a giant pipeline and the arrival of oil tankers. Two brothers take matters into their own hands to find a solution, and end up getting some supernatural help from Raven." haidagwaiicoast.ca A Haida Councilor tells the stories and speaks about the impact of the pipeline on the Haida land and people, and all people. The story she tells is the story of colonialism, of occupation, of despoiling of the land and displacement of the peoples.

Dad dances (Jimmy Fallon)

I love Jimmy Fallon!

Bob Welch is gone

Bob Welch killed himself at 66, apparently after suffering health problems. (Heroin will do that to you.) His singing and guitar work were my constant companions in the early to mid-seventies, when I was in college, because I loved Fleetwood Mac before the Stevie Nicks era._ That's Bob Weston in the white. Welch and Christine McVie share vocals.
"Sentimental Lady" from Bare Trees, with Bob Welch on lead vocal. This 1972 record was one of my favorites. A lot of Bare Trees was Danny Kirwin, but Bob Welch was an integral part of the band's sound.

"Emerald Eyes" from Mystery to Me

"Why" with Christine McVie's vocal.
Here's a live version, after Buckingham/Nicks joined the band:

Commencement speech: Neil Gaiman

This has gone viral because it has great advice for artists and writers, but also because Neil has such a wonderful voice. I think this advice is as good for me as it is for my daughter, the artist.

The complete transcript, thanks to the University of Pennsylvania

134th Commencement
May 17, 2012I never really expected to find myself giving advice to people graduating from an establishment of higher education.  I never graduated from any such establishment. I never even started at one. I escaped from school as soon as I could, when the prospect of four more years of enforced learning before I'd become the writer I wanted to be was stifling.
I got out into the world, I wrote, and I became a better writer the more I wrote, and I wrote some more, and nobody ever seemed to mind that I was making it up as I went along, they just read what I wrote and they paid for it, or they didn't, and often they commissioned me to write something else for them.
Which has left me with a healthy respect and fondness for higher education that those of my friends and family, who attended Universities, were cured of long ago.
Looking back, I've had a remarkable ride. I'm not sure I can call it a career, because a career implies that I had some kind of career plan, and I never did. The nearest thing I had was a list I made when I was 15 of everything I wanted to do: to write an adult novel, a children's book, a comic, a movie, record an audiobook, write an episode of Doctor Who... and so on. I didn't have a career. I just did the next thing on the list.
So I thought I'd tell you everything I wish I'd known starting out, and a few things that, looking back on it, I suppose that I did know. And that I would also give you the best piece of advice I'd ever got, which I completely failed to follow.
First of all: When you start out on a career in the arts you have no idea what you are doing.
This is great. People who know what they are doing know the rules, and know what is possible and impossible. You do not. And you should not. The rules on what is possible and impossible in the arts were made by people who had not tested the bounds of the possible by going beyond them. And you can.
If you don't know it's impossible it's easier to do. And because nobody's done it before, they haven't made up rules to stop anyone doing that again, yet.
Secondly, If you have an idea of what you want to make, what you were put here to do, then just go and do that.
And that's much harder than it sounds and, sometimes in the end, so much easier than you might imagine. Because normally, there are things you have to do before you can get to the place you want to be. I wanted to write comics and novels and stories and films, so I became a journalist, because journalists are allowed to ask questions, and to simply go and find out how the world works, and besides, to do those things I needed to write and to write well, and I was being paid to learn how to write economically,  crisply, sometimes under adverse conditions, and on time.
Sometimes the way to do what you hope to do will be clear cut, and sometimes  it will be almost impossible to decide whether or not you are doing the correct thing, because you'll have to balance your goals and hopes with feeding yourself, paying debts, finding work, settling for what you can get.
Something that worked for me was imagining that where I wanted to be – an author, primarily of fiction, making good books, making good comics and supporting myself through my words – was a mountain. A distant mountain. My goal.
And I knew that as long as I kept walking towards the mountain I would be all right. And when I truly was not sure what to do, I could stop, and think about whether it was taking me towards or away from the mountain. I said no to editorial jobs on magazines, proper jobs that would have paid proper money because I knew that, attractive though they were, for me they would have been walking away from the mountain. And if those job offers had come along earlier I might have taken them, because they still would have been closer to the mountain than I was at the time.
I learned to write by writing. I tended to do anything as long as it felt like an adventure, and to stop when it felt like work, which meant that life did not feel like work.
Thirdly, When you start off, you have to deal with the problems of failure. You need to be thickskinned, to learn that not every project will survive. A freelance life, a life in the arts, is sometimes like putting messages in bottles, on a desert island, and hoping that someone will find one of your bottles and open it and read it, and put something in a bottle that will wash its way back to you: appreciation, or a commission, or money, or love. And you have to accept that you may put out a hundred things for every bottle that winds up coming back.
The problems of failure are problems of discouragement, of hopelessness, of hunger. You want everything to happen and you want it now, and things go wrong. My first book – a piece of journalism I had done for the money, and which had already bought me an electric typewriter  from the advance – should have been a bestseller. It should have paid me a lot of money. If the publisher hadn't gone into involuntary liquidation between the first print run selling out and the second printing, and before any royalties could be paid, it would have done.
And I shrugged, and I still had my electric typewriter and enough money to pay the rent for a couple of months, and I decided that I would do my best in future not to write books just for the money. If you didn't get the money, then you didn't have anything. If I did work I was proud of, and I didn't get the money, at least I'd have the work.
Every now and again, I forget that rule, and whenever I do, the universe kicks me hard and reminds me. I don't know that it's an issue for anybody but me, but it's true that nothing I did where the only reason for doing it was the money was ever worth it, except as bitter experience. Usually I didn't wind up getting the money, either.  The things I did because I was excited, and wanted to see them exist in reality have never let me down, and I've never regretted the time I spent on any of them.
The problems of failure are hard.
The problems of success can be harder, because nobody warns you about them.
The first problem of any kind of even limited success is the unshakable conviction that you are getting away with something, and that any moment now they will discover you. It's Imposter Syndrome, something my wife Amanda christened the Fraud Police.
In my case, I was convinced that there would be a knock on the door, and a man with a clipboard (I don't know why he carried a clipboard, in my head, but he did) would be there, to tell me it was all over, and they had caught up with me, and now I would have to go and get a real job, one that didn't consist of making things up and writing them down, and reading books I wanted to read. And then I would go away quietly and get the kind of job where you don't have to make things up any more.
The problems of success. They're real, and with luck you'll experience them. The point where you stop saying yes to everything, because now the bottles you threw in the ocean are all coming back, and have to learn to say no.
I watched my peers, and my friends, and the ones who were older than me and watch how miserable some of them were: I'd listen to them telling me that they couldn't envisage a world where they did what they had always wanted to do any more, because now they had to earn a certain amount every month just to keep where they were. They couldn't go and do the things that mattered, and that they had really wanted to do; and that seemed as a big a tragedy as any problem of failure.
And after that, the biggest problem of success is that the world conspires to stop you doing the thing that you do, because you are successful. There was a day when I looked up and realised that I had become someone who professionally replied to email, and who wrote as a hobby.  I started answering fewer emails, and was relieved to find I was writing much more.
Fourthly, I hope you'll make mistakes. If you're making mistakes, it means you're out there doing something. And the mistakes in themselves can be useful. I once misspelled Caroline, in a letter, transposing the A and the O, and I thought, “Coraline looks like a real name...”
And remember that whatever discipline you are in, whether you are a musician or a photographer, a fine artist or a cartoonist, a writer, a dancer, a designer, whatever you do you have one thing that's unique. You have the ability to make art.
And for me, and for so many of the people I have known, that's been a lifesaver. The ultimate lifesaver. It gets you through good times and it gets you through the other ones.
Life is sometimes hard. Things go wrong, in life and in love and in business and in friendship and in health and in all the other ways that life can go wrong. And when things get tough, this is what you should do.
Make good art.
I'm serious. Husband runs off with a politician? Make good art. Leg crushed and then eaten by mutated boa constrictor? Make good art. IRS on your trail? Make good art. Cat exploded? Make good art. Somebody on the Internet thinks what you do is stupid or evil or it's all been done before? Make good art. Probably things will work out somehow, and eventually time will take the sting away, but that doesn't matter. Do what only you do best. Make good art.
Make it on the good days too.
And Fifthly, while you are at it, make your art. Do the stuff that only you can do.
The urge, starting out, is to copy. And that's not a bad thing. Most of us only find our own voices after we've sounded like a lot of other people. But the one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.
The moment that you feel that, just possibly, you're walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That's the moment you may be starting to get it right.
The things I've done that worked the best were the things I was the least certain about, the stories where I was sure they would either work, or more likely be the kinds of embarrassing failures people would gather together and talk about  until the end of time. They always had that in common: looking back at them, people explain why they were inevitable successes. While I was doing them, I had no idea.
I still don't. And where would be the fun in making something you knew was going to work?
And sometimes the things I did really didn't work. There are stories of mine that have never been reprinted. Some of them never even left the house. But I learned as much from them as I did from the things that worked.
Sixthly. I will pass on some secret freelancer knowledge. Secret knowledge is always good. And it is useful for anyone who ever plans to create art for other people, to enter a freelance world of any kind. I learned it in comics, but it applies to other fields too. And it's this:
People get hired because, somehow, they get hired. In my case I did something which these days would be easy to check, and would get me into trouble, and when I started out, in those pre-internet days, seemed like a sensible career strategy: when I was asked by editors who I'd worked for, I lied. I listed a handful of magazines that sounded likely, and I sounded confident, and I got jobs. I then made it a point of honour to have written something for each of the magazines I'd listed to get that first job, so that I hadn't actually lied, I'd just been chronologically challenged... You get work however you get work.
People keep working, in a freelance world, and more and more of today's world is freelance, because their work is good, and because they are easy to get along with, and because they deliver the work on time. And you don't even need all three. Two out of three is fine. People will tolerate how unpleasant you are if your work is good and you deliver it on time. They'll forgive the lateness of the work if it's good, and if they like you. And you don't have to be as good as the others if you're on time and it's always a pleasure to hear from you.
When I agreed to give this address, I started trying to think what the best advice I'd been given over the years was.
And it came from Stephen King twenty years ago, at the height of the success of Sandman. I was writing a comic that people loved and were taking seriously. King had liked Sandman and my novel with Terry Pratchett, Good Omens, and he saw the madness, the long signing lines, all that, and his advice was this:
“This is really great. You should enjoy it.”
And I didn't. Best advice I got that I ignored.Instead I worried about it. I worried about the next deadline, the next idea, the next story. There wasn't a moment for the next fourteen or fifteen years that I wasn't writing something in my head, or wondering about it. And I didn't stop and look around and go, this is really fun. I wish I'd enjoyed it more. It's been an amazing ride. But there were parts of the ride I missed, because I was too worried about things going wrong, about what came next, to enjoy the bit I was on.
That was the hardest lesson for me, I think: to let go and enjoy the ride, because the ride takes you to some remarkable and unexpected places.
And here, on this platform, today, is one of those places. (I am enjoying myself immensely.)
To all today's graduates: I wish you luck. Luck is useful. Often you will discover that the harder you work, and the more wisely you work, the luckier you get. But there is luck, and it helps.
We're in a transitional world right now, if you're in any kind of artistic field, because the nature of distribution is changing, the models by which creators got their work out into the world, and got to keep a roof over their heads and buy sandwiches while they did that, are all changing. I've talked to people at the top of the food chain in publishing, in bookselling, in all those areas, and nobody knows what the landscape will look like two years from now, let alone a decade away. The distribution channels that people had built over the last century or so are in flux for print, for visual artists, for musicians, for creative people of all kinds.
Which is, on the one hand, intimidating, and on the other, immensely liberating. The rules, the assumptions, the now-we're supposed to's of how you get your work seen, and what you do then, are breaking down. The gatekeepers are leaving their gates. You can be as creative as you need to be to get your work seen. YouTube and the web (and whatever comes after YouTube and the web) can give you more people watching than television ever did. The old rules are crumbling and nobody knows what the new rules are.
So make up your own rules.
Someone asked me recently how to do something she thought was going to be difficult, in this case recording an audio book, and I suggested she pretend that she was someone who could do it. Not pretend to do it, but pretend she was someone who could. She put up a notice to this effect on the studio wall, and she said it helped.
So be wise, because the world needs more wisdom, and if you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would.
And now go, and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here. Make good art.

Commencement speech: Laurie Anderson

School of Visual Arts alum Laurie Anderson gives the commencement address for 2012. I was lucky enough to see her perform at the Walker Art Center some years ago, and the performance was everything I could have wanted it to be.

(many thanks to Fresca for this!)